Saturday, May 26, 2012
I can do that easily to myself. Dust this. Paint that. Wash this. Sort that. Some of the dusting got done. I did dust the lintels over the doors and removed long empty cobwebs, now festooned with dust, from corners, most of the corners, anyway. I got the deck painted and the bathroom washed. There is still a pile to my right which has not been sorted.
I realized about 2 weeks ago, that the task I had given myself to be "ready" for their visit was way over what I could reasonably hope to accomplish. Having acknowledged that x and x and x weren't going to get done, I went into something of a funk. I just don't have the prolonged energy to be on my knees, on a ladder or on top of all the things that "ready" implied, at least in my mind. I had failed.
But whom had I failed? The kids are fine with the house. They helped do a couple things I don't have the physical strength to do and, in the process, we dusted. Big deal. The only person really unhappy with what didn't get done was me and I know that voice. I've been dealing with her for years.
So, the key is to get done what is necessary and make sure that voice understands I'm doing all I can. I may never be able to silence it but letting go of "I need" and embracing "I want" helps tremendously.
Beverage: African Rooibos tea