It's Not a Game

Charlottesville.

I've been there. It was back in 2001. Carole and I traveled to various Civil War battlefields the month she graduated from high school. We made a grand sweeping tour; visiting Gettysburg, Harpers Ferry, Chancellorsville, Antietam, and Richmond. (It's quite ironic to us that she now lives in the area where we probably drove through so long ago.) On the way back to Illinois, we stayed the night in Charlottesville because we wanted to see Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's home.

I don't remember the statue in question. I remember how the town was stuffed around the hills and valleys. There's the University of Virginia and a large hospital complex and the myriad of one-way streets had us locked in a bit of a circle until we figured out we could go straight through one intersection and get back to the main road and supper and our hotel. Our visit was about Jefferson. Statuary was not involved.

I passed through Chancellorsville three years ago, while driving from Warrenton, where Carole and Larry had just married, to Roanoke, where a friend lived. I remember the intersection between whatever road I was following and the Interstate, but that's about all I remember. But I can say I've been there. It looks nice from the road.

Like you, I followed and have followed, events unfolding during and after the protest. A tsunami of words have flowed in analysis; some of it thoughtful; some head-scratchingly tone deaf. If you have not seen the Vice News segment on the march, you need to watch it. It's tough to sit through. There were several times I felt like turning it off. I don't want to watch this. The attitudes expressed here are beyond horrible. Indeed, I have no word to categorize how bad this is. But part of citizenry is to know, even if I don't understand. I admire the reporter and camera person's guts; to be where they were not welcome. Watch the 6 minute interview between reporter Elle Reeve and Anderson Cooper of CNN. She adds information on what she experienced directly.

All of this is sickening. I heard a couple of people wonder how we got to this point in our history. I would argue, as have many others, we've never left this point. Since the founding of this country, we have always had a group of people for whom blacks are a subspecies. We are very good at covering this up.

One thing that struck me in the aftermath was somewhat a unified comment these white men have made when exposed as being at the march. "I'm not a racist." Some people in the video openly declare they are even if they don't use the word. But many, when confronted as being at the march say, "I'm not a racist. Ask anyone who knows me. I'm not racist." They never seem to get that association with white separatists is endorsing racism. The biggest facepalm moment was the guy who said, "I've got black friends. I'm not racist."

That one comment, out of the reams and reams of comments I've read, made me the angriest. Having a friend in a marginalized group does not give you a "Get Out of Racism Free" card. It simply means you have someone in your life who maybe overlooks your racism because you both play Settlers of Cataan, or like to discuss the chances of the New York Jets not being in the bottom of the league. Having a black friend does not mean you're not racist.

Replace the letters across the top of a Bingo card with the letters LGBTQ. I have lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender and queer friends. BINGO! What do I win? I honestly don't see them as their labels. I see them as the people they are and I knew and liked them before they came out. The label is, for me, the same as saying they are Scottish or German or Indian. It's just another part of who they are. You don't get to "win" or have your racist, homophobic, or derogatory views unchallenged just because you happen to know someone in the very group you denounce.

There is no "white culture". This purity supremacists want to preserve is an amalgam of cultures from thousands of years of migration. We humans have been mixing up our genes since we were in Africa. I laugh way too hard at the stories now circulating that have white supremacists doing DNA testing only to find out they aren't what they think they are.

I have been reading, reading, reading. My historical assumptions have been challenged. I was taught the "myth" of State's Rights. I read, but now can't find it, of course, an article critical of Ken Burns' The Civil War mini-series; saying he presented a "white washed" (words intended) view of the conflict. He has yet to answer this critique. I've had one friend; Southern boy to the core; renounce the flag he defended earlier this year when New Orleans took down their statues. It was his culture and we were erasing it. He has come to realize it was about slavery, not culture.

I don't have black friends. I used to, but in the grand journey that is life, we drifted apart. I wouldn't say it was because I was racist in an earlier time. I wasn't raised that way and I don't think any of my life actions could be called racist. People wander into and out of your life just as a matter of course and that's what happened to us. I don't know any Latino people. I have Asian friends. Again, none of this is to "win" a column on a game board. I would hope, as I continue to wander this life, people would be my friend because we share interests, not because they need to tick off "Scottish female" on some internal scorecard.

This is not a game. If ever you find yourself saying, "I'm not racist" or "I'm not homophobic" or "I'm not anti-Semitic" or "I'm not [insert group]", you are. Plain and simple. If you have to qualify your actions or speech with any of this, you are what you say you aren't. Look at why you believe what you do. How are your words or actions marginalizing someone? Toss out the scorecard and like people for who they are.

Beverage:  Coca-Cola

Deb

One Year

July came and went, all to quickly, it feels like. A year ago, mid-July, I was at my daughter's for a visit and the annual Spectacular Death meet-up. If you remember, I returned home with memories and a new fur baby.

How could it be a year now, that Hamlet's lived with us? I almost don't remember what it was like to have only 2 cats. He plays chase with Pilchard and, occasionally, Mija. He's a fount of energy. He's adapted to life with us or maybe we've adapted to him; who really knows.

The big change is Hamlet himself.

He takes up a lot more real estate than in July 2016.

I also note that, because he's more of a lover than the other two ever were, they are starting to demand lap time to curl up and sleep. Pilchard used to sit, for at least 2 hours or until the feeling started leaving my knees and I'd have to move her. Then, with Hamlet demanding attention, she quit sitting in my lap. She's back to that now, although not as long as before he came here. Mija just recently started wanting my lap when I'm sitting down with my feet up.

And there's the lying on mom when she's trying to sleep. I get that he was probably dumped too soon and I'm mom cat, but 1:30 in morning is not a good time to climb up my chest and lie down. Because he does it, Mija's been doing it. I don't want to have to shut them out of the bedroom, but I need a full night's sleep.

I'm trying an experiment this month with Feliway. Around the 10th of every month, I've been replacing the bottle because it's run out and I notice more antagonism between the cats. This month, things seems to be quieter so I have not replaced the empty bottle with fresh. So far, knock on wood, we are doing okay. I'd rather they just learned to live together and not have to rely on pheromones to do so. Maybe we've reached that point. We'll see.

Love my boy. I still call him "kitten britches", although he's hardly a kitten anymore. I was worried about adding another cat into the household, but rescue makes you do strange things, like rub the belly of a lap sleeping cat because, at 15 pounds, he's slowly cutting off the circulation to my feet.

Beverage:  Water

Deb

It's Not IKEA

I think it was four years ago now, Carole and Larry gave me a cat tree they had which wasn't useful. The girls were, at first, intimidated by it, but Pilchard, in particular, grew fond of it. Then, one day, I was in my office and I heard a horrible crash in the living room. Racing there, I expected to find someone injured. Instead, I found two cowering cats and the top of the tower on the floor. Pilchard had tried to climb up onto that rung and the connection between it and the rung below, snapped.

It couldn't take the force of her jumping up onto the platform.

I couldn't see a way to fix it so I kept the top, as it had a dangle ball which was enticing, affixed to it.

This has served us well for some time.

Ironically, it's just the right height for me to lean on while sitting in my chair. It was close to the height of the table so a cat could walk across the table (in front of me, naturally), and take up a spot on the top of the tree; perfect height for ear scratches.

But, this year, it started getting wobbly. It looks sturdy, but when Pilchard would jump to the top shelf, the thing would wobble. Increasingly, I was worried she'd topple it and get injured. Flipping the thing over, I discovered this.

No wonder it was wobbly. I checked all my parts and bits and collected things and I had nothing to make this secure. I had been giving some thought to a new cat tree anyway. After a trip to the hardware store and coming home with a nut bolt combination which didn't work, I decided a new tree was in order. For the record, I was out 57 cents for the nut and bolt I bought. I've added them to the collection I maintain in the basement. You never know.

I ordered from Jet.com because I had a coupon. They bill themselves as an Amazon wanna-be. They don't have the huge inventory Amazon does, but their prices are reasonably competitive. I looked at my local pet store, as bringing it home same day is very appealing. But they didn't have the size I wanted for the price I could pay. Even with shipping, online was cheaper. So, I got one online.

It was a rather big box, since this is 28 inches tall, and there was assembly required.

Unlike the birdbath I assembled in May, all the companion pieces were in a bag I could clearly see.

Oh joy. Yet another hex key.

I should collect all of these just to see how many I have. They must be ridiculously easy to manufacture, since everything I've purchased which needs assembly, has one and doesn't assume you have the right size.

I sorted everything out and pulled out the instructions.

There's no "Step 1: Affix column A to slot A using the bolts marked 1." I had to figure out which column was A, B, C, and which platforms were D, E and F. The short column connectors were reasonably easy to discern from the bolts. Bolts were all the same size, thankfully. I dived in.

It assembled fairly easily.

The problem was, without a corresponding mark on the bottom platform, I got posts in the wrong place, which I didn't find out until I was ready to assemble the middle platform.

I had to disassemble what I'd completed and put the posts in the right places, which weren't completely clear. The hex screws did make taking the thing apart easier, I have to grant that. I have much more leverage to make sure they are screwed in tightly, so important to prevent posts from loosening with repeated jumping on by cats.

I liked this tree because of the sisal insert. An added benefit is the soft carpet on the levels. The posts are all covered with sisal.

This lone upright post holds a bed which is, realistically, too small for anyone to be comfortable for any length of time. Pilchard has started to use it when she sits next to me if I'm on the computer. The top level is the same height as the old tree, so it sits next to my chair and I rest my elbow on it when I'm gaming. It's the same height as the table so, when I'm paying bills, I use it for sorting.

I removed the ball from the old tree and stapled it to the top edge of this one. No one seems to care. I took the other tree out to the street, thinking someone might be willing to cannibalize it for parts for their cats. If no one took it, I'd just toss it in my garbage. I saw several people slow down to look at it, but they all moved on and I wound up tossing it.

Mija and Hamlet don't lie on this at all. Pilchard, on the other hand, is thrilled.

It had been up 24 hours and I came into the living room to see her climbing all over the thing and attacking the posts. She climbs the levels to sit beside me for scratches. I'm a touch disappointed the other two aren't interested, but Pilchard's use makes this a good buy. The stability is wonderful and, for me, the ease of assembly was a great plus. I feel we'll get quite a few years worth of use out of this.

Beverage:  Dr Pepper

Deb

So You Don't Have To

There was a hullabaloo (talk about an archaic word, but there you have it) at the middle of April when Oreos announced a new flavor.

Of course, when I saw them in the store, I had to try them. It's a public service I provide, you know.

Ah Pop Rocks. I remember you from the early 1990's. They were mildly amusing then. Carole didn't like them. She wasn't thrilled with stuff exploding in your mouth. Let's see how the combination of Oreos and Pop Rocks goes.

Meh. I was expecting more of an explosion. There wasn't much taste to Pop Rocks, if I'm remembering them correctly. My memory leaves me with the impression that the smell upon opening the bag was more pronounced than the actual flavor. This was the same impression with Oreos. You had your typical Oreo cookie taste with an occasional pop when a fleck hit your tongue. Those pops were few, at least in my bag of cookies.

Sigh. I just don't see that Oreo is losing market share to anyone. So, I'm really not certain why they feel the need to do something like this. It was underwhelming. Supposedly, there is or was, a waffles and maple syrup version of Oreos out there. I haven't seen those to try them. I'm intrigued, but, again, why mess with the greatness that is chocolate wafers with white stuff in the middle of them?

I'm not sure you can find these anymore. I think they were out for Memorial Day and have disappeared from shelves. If, by chance, your retailer has a stash and puts them out for sale, save your pennies. These aren't worth it at any price.

Beverage:  Water

Deb

Amazing Feets

I said, back after Christmas, I didn't need more socks. I have not posted the photos of the socks I received from Carole and Larry for Christmas. I'm getting there. Other photos demand attention.

The sock drawer is quite crammed but I can't go anywhere without seeing socks I NEED. Well, "need" is, really, too strong of a word, but "want" doesn't quite cover it. I found these and they made their way into my sock drawer.

I had no Easter socks.

I'm also on the look-out, next year, for some with colored eggs on them. The dark pink bow on the rabbit has sparkly bits.

Then, I stumbled upon these in a notice from one of the booksellers whose catalogue I get.

Library card socks. I could get them in light blue or yellow. The yellow tugged at my nostalgia. They were $2.50 a pair. How could I resist? (I also bought some fun Christmas cards from this retailer because the handling charge tripled the cost of the socks. It's not a deal if you wind up paying $9.00 for handling.)

I have this weakness. Is there a Sock-aholics Anonymous? Or maybe I simply need a bigger drawer?

Beverage:  Scottish Breakfast Tea

Deb

Sewing

I'm "blaming" my friend, Meredith Carney, for a spur-of-the moment purchase at the beginning of the month. In case you don't know, the movie "Despicable Me 3" is now in movie theaters. The minions are back and with them, product tie-ins, of course. She was shopping at Wal*Mart, a place I won't go, and sent me photos of some minion clothing. "Hmmmm," thinks I. "Is there minion fabric?" Well duh.

JoAnn Fabrics might have just a few choices. There are also some prints available online only, but I need to see the fabric to decide what print to get and then, what to make of said print.

Yes, yes. I know what's going through your head. We will not talk about the boxes of fabric in the closet. We will agree to just nod in that general direction. Look! Minions! I did not have to go to JoAnn Fabrics for anything. I went because of minions and Meredith showing me clothing at Wal*Mart. What's the aphorism? "I can resist anything except temptation"?

I came home with these.

The Disney World trip is less than 100 days away now. I was going to do something crazy and make capes for all the guild members, and family members, attending the event. But, about April, I realized I'd bitten off way more than I could chew so I abandoned that before I spent $$$ on fabric I won't get fashioned into things. But I could get a shirt done before October.

I opted to buy a new pattern. I usually don't buy Vogue patterns because they assume you are more than an intermediate sewer, but I like this one and it's fairly simple. I'm going to make the shirt at the lower right corner. It's two fabrics. I will make a mostly yellow with a white block and then a mostly white with a yellow block. The shirt has a 9 inch zipper in the front to facilitate putting it on. It's stitched in the "invisible zipper" style, something I haven't done in a very long time. We'll see. Since this is a strictly humorous shirt, I don't, necessarily, care if it's visible or invisible. The zipper is not the point of the shirt.

I get these home and feel the desire to sew rising. In order to do that, I had to clear a path to the ironing board and deal with the stuff I had stacked on the ironing board. Then, I've spent the last week clearing off the kitchen table. I'm so bad about just dropping stuff there in the "I'll deal with it later" mode, and there it sits. The urge to just move stuff to another pile was strong, but I resisted and actually cleared off the table, putting things away, dealing with them.

In the process of cleaning, I found the pieces to a lightweight jacket I was going to make last year, to wear to Carole's for my birthday.

(There's the cape pattern I bought. Not sure what I'll do with it now, but you never know when a pattern will come in handy.)

The jacket is not complicated.

I cut out the pattern back in early October of last year.

And then it sat. I got busy and just lost the desire to work on it, even with a self-imposed deadline. When the table was cleared and all the pieces liberated, I felt like I couldn't sew the two shirts without finishing this jacket. I didn't have, handy, thread matching the pink. I have, instead, a dark mauve-ish color which actually works better. One day's worth of sewing and viola.

The next step is to prepare the trim. I'm using a black satin for the trim around the jacket and sleeves. I bought more interfacing for the shirts, which was a good thing because it appears I never cut interfacing for the trim. But I got to thinking. I haven't sewn satin in years and I have concerns about fusing interfacing to satin. Would the iron leave marks as I was fusing? Asking my seamstress friends, they said to use sew-in interfacing because satin will pucker with fusible. Hadn't thought about puckering. The next issue is, do I have enough non-fusible interfacing? I haven't a clue, so I will have to find the box with the interfacing, and, tonight, take a look. At least there is still a sale at JoAnn's so if I need interfacing, it will be on sale. I don't use non-fusible if I can help it, but I know I have a stash, just how much is the question.

So, here we go. Once the interfacing issue is resolved, this will go together very quickly. Then I can work on the minion shirts. Sewing makes me feel good. Finishing projects makes me feel double good. It's win/win. And, my "helper" likes to supervise when I sit in the recliner as I pin seams.

Beverage:  Scottish Breakfast Tea

Deb

Disappointment

After getting the shepherd's crook up with the tube feeder attached, I moved the resin birdbath to the front planting bed. I was attaching the new small feeder to the front window...

and knocked over the birdbath, spilling the contents. Side note: the birds haven't used this at all. I need to check the seed. It's been out there for several weeks and may be unattractive. I can scatter it on the ground under the tube feeder where I've seen ground feeding birds like mourning doves and rabbits, in addition to squirrels, eating what's fallen from the feeder. It's rather humorous to watch birds on perches flick aside what they aren't interested in, from the mix in the tube.

The birdbath had fallen over when it was in the back yard and was slightly chipped. This would be, I was told by a friend, easily fixable with a resin repair you painted on. This latest problem would not be reparable with a simple paint job. So, I'd be faced with replacing the birdbath. This one was the one I won last year, so I wasn't out a lot of money.

I hopped online and typed in "birdbaths". The sheer enormity of what's available it astounding. This is a nice looking bath, but I wanted something else. Glass bird baths. Who uses those for anything other than interior decoration? I mean, seriously. We have had strong thunderstorms rumble through Chicagoland the past three days. These come with upwards of 40 mph winds. The absolute last thing I want to do is clean up broken glass because Mother Nature decided to lift the bath off its stand and drop it to the side, in the flower bed. And given the fragility of resin, I couldn't justify the replacement cost to see another bath tipped over and broken. I thought about what I have on the deck. It's low enough that wildlife can use it, but it's extremely rare to have it tipped over by the wind. But I wanted to be able to see the birds who might use this, if I stand up and look out the window. I found what I thought would be a good match for all these criteria on a site called Wayfair.com.

I read the product description. It was white, heavy-duty plastic. It should not crack, even in the winter. If tipped over the product shouldn't break where the column meets the dish. It was a good buy.

The box was rather big.

It was also much lighter than I understood from the product description. Hmmmm. I unpacked it. Here were the two pieces.

Okay. Now what? There were no directions. The top and base had the indentations for, perhaps, nails, screws, something, but it wasn't clear. I pulled off the packing slip and there were instructions. "Attach basin to post with included screws." That's all that was on the slip. I looked for "included screws". I couldn't find any. Not to worry. I'm a homeowner. I have a couple hundred (It seems.) screws in the basement which would work. I screwed the top onto the base and carried the bath outside.

This will look very nice. I went to add water but when I came out, it had tipped over. No matter. I'll just right it and add water to the basin. The water's weight should keep it upright. Nope. It was a slightly windy day; gust upwards of 15 mph. It tipped over repeatedly. Frustrated, I found a stake, wired the bath to the stake and shaved off a small section of ground in case where I had it was not level. It lasted upright 10 minutes. The thing is too light to stand on its own and even anchoring it simply delayed the inevitable tipping over.

Frustrated and angry, I went back to the web site. Suddenly, all these comments became visible. "Screws weren't provided." "Holes for screws not properly drilled." (I didn't have a problem with this, but I could see how it could be a problem since this appears to be injection molded plastic.) There, buried about 15 comments down was this. "Instructions woefully insufficient. Base must be filled with sand or dirt for the bath to stand upright. This is NOT printed anywhere on the instructions. I had to figure it out for myself." AHA. This is the problem.

Wayfair.com is simply a reseller. They aggregate items from manufacturers, add some mark-up, and resell it to you. My daughter has had good luck with the things she's purchased. I am extremely unhappy with this. The description of the birdbath on Wayfair is woefully inadequate. Nowhere does it say you need to fill the base with sand for stability. This should be in the product description. I never saw the negative ads. I only saw glowing ads touting the product. All relevant comments, even negative ones, should be available to view. Instructions could be Ikea-style, where it's a simple sheet with a blow-up diagram of the product and its assembly. Instructions need to be on a separate sheet, not printed on the packing slip.

You know what, I did find the screws. They were in a tiny plastic bag, taped to the bottom inside wall of one of the sides. I only found them when I ripped the box apart for recycling. They could, very easily, be taped to the basin where they would be visible. Is that Wayfair's fault? Possibly not, but they could, as a reseller, ask the manufacturer to do this. I simply added the screws to the container of random screws I already have.

So, this weekend, I need to head to the hardware store and get a bag of sand. Then, I need to deconstruct the bath, add the sand, and put it back. The total cost is still going to be cheaper than any resin birdbath, which would not have tipped over, would be. I guess the moral of this is that I got what I paid for. Actually, I got less. Once the sand has been added. this will be a nice addition to this spot. Since I have to buy a hummingbird feeder, getting the sand isn't an added inconvenience.

I'm not shopping at Wayfair again. When I complained, explained what they should have done, they offered me 10% off my next purchase, as long as it was done within the month of June. That's kind of an insult. I'm not sure when I would be shopping with them and 10% isn't going to cover shipping and handling costs for anything. A friend asked what would get me to shop there again. "You know what, you make very valid points. We failed in our description for this product. We're going to fix that. I'm sorry you're unhappy with this product. We can replace it for you, sending you a box to ship it back and give you your money back towards the purchase of something else. Or, we can offer 25% off anything, including sale priced merchandise, good through the end of the year. Again, we're sorry this product did not meet your standards."

I won't hold my breath.

Beverage:  English Breakfast tea

Deb

Perfect Gifts

Santa Baby,
Just stick some stickers under the tree
For me.
Been an awful good girl.
Santa Baby,
Hurry down the chimney tonight.

(I hope you know that song, but if you don't, here's a link to Eartha Kitt's version.)

As I age, I realize the gifts which make me deliriously happy are simple. One of them is stickers. All boxes and mailers and letters leave my house with stickers attached; unless they are mailers from Target. Those things require me to glue my stickers on. Not going to do that.

Christmas was a magical time. Carole sent me a whole bunch of stickers. I think she went to Hobby Lobby several times to accumulate this mass.

My friend, Liz, and my sister also got in on the act.

Liz's were all from Disney, thanks to her trip to Disneyland in November, and Sharyn's were all 50 cents or less.

I vowed, this year I would be better about writing people. I was gifted with some lovely note cards which don't take hours to draft a note. Thanks to this and a vow to be better about sending cards, I've used up 80% of this stash. I had to buy more stickers in March because I was running low. I put together Easter baskets for my great-nieces and nephews and bought stickers to put in those, which gave me a few more. But I realized I'd need to, probably in June, set aside some cash and hit up Hallmark. They have neat stickers, even though they are a bit pricey.

Enter Mother's Day.

The last three years, Carole has sent flowers. While very appreciated, 1-800-Flowers was not sending me good blooms. She would get a credit because the flowers would arrive with brown edges or would fail to open. After last year, she said, "I'm never ordering from them again, mom." There are a lot of things which would be great if she wanted to send me something, but she didn't ask so I didn't volunteer. When the Mother's Day card came, she said I have been gifted with a 6 month membership to Pipsticks. Huh?

Pipsticks. This is one of those subscription crate services which are popping up all over. I get a package every month. The clear mailer holds a pouch which contains stickers;

oodles and oodles of stickers;

all sorts.

I don't know if you can see them. On the left side of the keyboard are translucent colored raindrops. I'm not sure about the big rainbow piece at the bottom. It might be a place to stick stickers onto. I haven't tried to see if it's one huge sticker itself which would be awesome on the back of a mailer or flat or on the side of a box. I have a method for stickering packages and I just haven't gotten to that piece, yet.

Also included is a picture to color, a pre-stamped postcard and a newsletter, which is the heart covered paper. I sent the postcard to a friend and added the coloring page to a color book I got last year.

I am thrilled. I have not used these up. I've been really busy and haven't written a lot of letters. I sent out some parcels right before and right after Memorial Day and it was so wonderful to adorn them with stickers. It was hilarious because I sent a flat to someone who had never received a letter from me. His reaction was priceless. On the guild Facebook page he typed, "OMG! You guys! Letters from Gimm come covered in stickers!" A large number of people responded, "Yes, yes they do." The postcard is blank on the other side so you can use your stickers to create a scene. I just covered the side with anything which would fit.

My subscription runs through October. This might become my birthday and Mother's Day gift, I was told, assuming each pack stays as great as this one. In October, I'll have the rest of these to use up.

I bought these to use in achievement books when my guild goes to Disney World in October. (See below.)  I have two boxes full of stickers. We won't use all of them and the boxes are small enough to carry in my purse for stickering on the go.

This makes me so happy. I'm trying to get my life in order so I can sit down and write some notes. If I have to take boxes to the post office, I go to the one near the office. The clerks there get a big kick out of what I mail.

Beverage:  Klarbrunn Black Cherry Seltzer

Deb

What to Do

The cleaning and tidying goes in very small bursts. I set out, for one of the veterans groups who takes donations, two grocery bags and a small box of stuff on Monday. I have not done any further purging beyond some box and paper recycling. I battled a rather large RA flare at the end of February and feel a need to clean the house; dust, sweep and wash floors. I was going to start on that task at the end of February but spent the weekend in bed. This happens about every 3-4 months so I'm "used" to it. But it sets me backwards in getting things done which frustrates me and that adds mental stress which triggers a flare which makes me tired so I take a nap which means; well, you get it.

But I was moving things around to make room for other things and stumbled upon this.

This is the veil from my wedding outfit. It was handmade by the woman who owned the store from which I bought my dress. Finding this reminded me the dress itself is in a plastic container in the basement. I don't know what to do with either of these. They date from 1978. Do I put them on eBay? Would they actually sell? I don't think donating them anywhere would work. Who would want them? I don't want them. Both have been cleaned and are in excellent condition, but I'm at a loss here.

Forbes.com had an excellent article about the lack of interest in collectibles and general accumulations of life. "Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parents' Stuff" made me look around my house and do a more critical evaluation of what I have. While I should not surround myself exclusively with things my daughter will find value in, I need to be happy in my space, if I no longer want it, there's little chance she's going to want it, either. This is a clear example of something which may have zero value. How does one get rid of something like this?

So, I'm struggling with this dilemma. There are some things, like blankets, coffee mugs, clothing, which I can get rid of with ease and which a group willing to take "discards" like that would find value. Some things, such as a wedding dress and veil from 1978, I just don't know there's any kind of market for and it feels wrong to dump it on them. Suggestions?

Beverage:  Dunkin' Donuts tea

Deb

Thanksgiving Lights

Last Thanksgiving was a milestone birthday for me. I don't talk my age except to say Play-Doh and I share a birth year, although it was "born" in April and I was born in November. For this occasion, I went to Virginia to spent the holiday with Carole and Larry. I returned the day after her November 28th birthday. It had been several years since we'd celebrated together.

Thanksgiving dinner was at Larry's parents' house. In the full tradition of American largess, the sideboards groaned with food. Baked turkey, deep-fried turkey, Virginia ham, mashed and scalloped potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, creamed and whole kernel corn, cornbread, rolls, applesauce, pickled beans, beets, stuffing and dressing, items I'm forgetting and macaroni and cheese. Mac and cheese is a southern Thanksgiving tradition, I learned. We don't serve that 'up nort'. There were two birthdays to celebrate on Thanksgiving Day in addition to my birthday on Saturday and Carole's the following Monday. I forget how many different desserts there were. We came home with so many leftovers, we didn't cook the whole time I was there.

The next day, we played board games and decorated the house for Christmas. It was 72 degrees out. I had to remind myself this would not last once the sun went down and that was truth. We watched my Hawkeyes beat the snot out of Nebraska in football and then went to the Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens for their annual light show. Carole and Larry have annual passes to this place because they have become a Pokemon hot spot and Larry loves Pokemon. They figured out they only have to go to 2.5 Pokemon events to pay for an annual pass and the Ginter holds more than that, plus all their other events, per year.

We met friends, Jon and Becky. A cold front had moved through during the football game, dropping the temperature 20 degrees and triggering drizzle. Still, we figured, if we got there 30-45 minutes before closing, most people would be leaving. The timing was perfect.

The theme was "Living Color". The first section you walked into was green.

It's a couple mile walk to go everywhere. There was a section for kids with a rainbow maze and tents of multicolored lights.

My little camera didn't do very well with photographs in the dark. I needed a tripod. Some things, like this tree, where I could place the camera on a post, came out fine. But a lot of the photos were blurry.

I love this photo, however.

There was a fence and I could sit the camera on the fence and depress the shutter. Enough light from the decorations meant the shutter speed was fast enough to capture the view.

In the middle of the park is a lake. Across the lake from the kids area was a large pavilion where tropical plants were. This was the view from the path up to a watch tower.

Inside the pavilion was warm and humid, prompting our glasses to steam over. As if the lights around the gardens weren't enough of an attraction, there was this tree in one of the back rooms.

That's Jon and Becky. It was an amazing creation, assembled in the same place every year specifically for photographs. 

These last two photos were taken with a cell phone camera. For my Disney trip in October, I need a better camera. I like the portability of my palm-sized one, but I need something better to capture the moments. 

In spite of the nip and drizzle in the air and the few times we had to contend with obnoxious, undisciplined children and the adults who didn't care, it was a magical event. There are Christmas light events around me which I've talked about attending and never have. I need to go. 

Beverage:  Water

Deb

Found in the Closet

I've slowly been whittling the clothing in the closet. It's an ongoing affair. Pull something out, muse on it and decide if it's worth saving. I filled up two grocery bags with shirts over the past month. There were some sweaters amongst those; sweaters I've had for over a decade but which no longer fit and are uninteresting to me. The closet feels lighter, which is a good thing.

On one of our recent extremely mild days, I reached in and pulled out a polo shirt.

I was a band mom for four years when Carole was in high school. We didn't have anything like that when I was band. We marched in parades and did half-time shows for football games. We played pep band for basketball games. There were concerts in the winter and spring and music contests because we know exposure to music makes kids smarter. But, beyond my mom helping when the music contest was at our school, she didn't travel with the band. This competitive marching that Carole did didn't exist.

The shirt has remained remarkably well for as old as it is. I was given this by a band parent who was leaving the program. I maybe should have passed it on, but I feel a kind of honor in still having it. As much as it doesn't have real meaning to my life right now, I'm not likely to get rid of it either. It still fits. It wears like cast iron and it represents a time of fun and excitement. Who wouldn't want to save something with memories like that?

Beverage:  Heather tea

Deb

Celestial

In case you missed it, there was a grand celestial event this past Friday night. First of all, there was a luminous full moon. Then, there was a lunar eclipse. Finally, a comet, which looked green, was to pass through the night sky. I've mentioned how my dad was enamored with the night sky. He bought a telescope when we were kids and we looked at the moon, a lot, particularly in the summer. That was mainly because we complained about the cold, even though winter skies are clearer than summer skies.

Because of his interest, evening skies and celestial events are still a great draw for me. This August, part of Illinois will get to experience a total solar eclipse. I thought about trying to drive south, but everyone and their brother will be down there. I'll be happy for the 90% we'll get up here. It makes very interesting shadows. The last time we experienced this, Carole was in 5th grade and her school had an eclipse party. We made pin hole cameras for all the classrooms. I do remember street lights coming on where the street was shady.

The computer sits facing the east so I get a good view of the moon as it rises. On Friday, I thought the eclipse was to 'start' at 6:48 pm my time. The night was clear, which was, itself, wonderful because we'd had 3 weeks of near constant clouds. The moon rose and, well, nothing. In all the time I watched, I never saw any indication of a lunar eclipse. I was busy so I couldn't check astronomy web sites. The umbra color of the moon during an eclipse is always fascinating. I never saw anything green in the night sky either. Just the red and white lights of incoming aircraft headed to O'Hare airport. It was something of a let down.

But, I was able to take photos, back in November of the Super Hunter's Moon. This is from November 12th.

The actual Hunter's Moon was the 14th, but it was big and white on the 13th. Here it is, rising in the east.

It usually takes a bit of time to go from a light yellow to full white, but the November moon seemed to start out white and just get brighter as the evening wore on. I remember it was nice out, so standing on the front steps trying to get decent photos of it wasn't an exercise in frozen fingers.

You can see in the above photo that it's not quite 100%. Compare the above photo with one taken on the 14th at, roughly, the same time.

It's always an adventure to take moon photos when the moon clears the tree line. I often have to walk down the steps and get the moon in branches before backing up so there is only the white orb left. And, at times like this, I wish I had better equipment than a pocket digital camera or my phone, which is years old.

We've had a lot of celestial "It won't happen again in your lifetime" events in the last 20 years. This is another one. It's exciting.

Beverage:  Raspberry seltzer

Deb