Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This too shall pass, eventually

I'm completely down on my luck right now. After a Sunday spent, carefully dolling out what few pennies and dollars I had, after going over the checkbook Saturday during the Iowa game, I took a deep breath, opened my online back account and...

I'm overdrawn.

According to my math, which gets checked by two computer calculators because I just don't trust my dyslexia, I still had money in my checkbook. According to the bank, as of 3 p.m. yesterday, not only did I not have money, I am in over my head.

I don't see where it went, honestly, I don't see it. Everything that's showing up in the account is in my checkbook. I had it all balanced at the beginning of the month. Where does it go and why don't we match?

My poor savings account is just that, poor. There are 10 days left in this month, 10 days for something major to happen, like the plumbing to stop or the water heater to explode or the car to give out with something totally unrelated to the $750 in repairs I just made last week. I can't afford to get a flu shot because I have no money to pay the deductible. I can't go to the doctor and get a refill on my allergy meds because I can't afford to pay the deductible. Granted, we're coming into a time when the air gets crisp and breathing clears all those allergens I've suffered through for the last month and I really won't need the meds until, with some luck, next March, but still...

I stood in front of the fridge tonight wondering what to make for supper. I am grateful that, at the beginning of the month, I went grocery shopping and filled out the freezer and bought the things that I generally like having around for meals. Plus, all this cleaning of cupboards found my big bag of rice and the raisins and, with some curry powder and, oh look, slivered almonds, I have a supper of curried rice. Cats are good and I don't really NEED to go out anywhere. My game is paid up for 6 months and I have movies to watch and craft projects I can do.

It will be rough with no overtime and needing to right the financial ship at the end of the month. I still don't understand where all my money goes when I plan, down to the penny, where I can spend it. I have a job, which is better than many people also in my predicament. For that I am grateful. I will keep on keeping on, which, as Carole will tell you, is something the two of us learned how to do.

Beverage: Dr. Pepper


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