Friday, October 18, 2013

So You Absolutely Don't Have To

And there is, yet, another entry in the M&M's "What Were They Thinking" adventure.

I have Francesca to "thank", "prepare", "warn", me about these. Back in September, I wrote about finding the Raspberry M&M's and how sad I was that they just weren't good. Francesca emailed me the following day.

One of my grandchildren brought me a bag of Candy Corn M&Ms. They've successfully ruined TWO of my favorites (and you can publish this!). They are orange, yellow and white and white chocolate inside.

Don't bother!!

But the thought was nice -- her mom knows I like both those candies so thought it would give me a chance to try these.

Again I say "UGH!!"

I had no idea what she was talking about. I hadn't seen anything like what she described. "Maybe this is a regional flavor," I thought. But when I went to Target and chanced upon the Pumpkin Spice M&Ms, right next to them were the Candy Corn ones. 

Although I had been warned, I simply had to check these out for myself. Let's just say I'm passing along the warning with some extra exclamation points for good measure.

These are awful!!!!

I cannot, in the strongest terms, explain how bad these are. I ripped open the package and was almost overpowered by the stench of sugar. It's a sickly sweet smell that just doesn't go away. I like the bright colors of the M&Ms, but the smell was constant. Real M&Ms don't smell like that. Real M&Ms don't really have a smell unless you stick your nose right into the bag. I would walk into the office and that's all I smelled, sugar.

Taste? Sugar. Sugar. And more sugar. The mix of candy corn and white chocolate destroys both flavors. I really like the Hershey white chocolate kisses. That's what white chocolate should taste like. I can eat a few pieces of candy corn. I even like the ones that are pseudo chocolate. You've seen them. They are beige, tan and brown instead of white, yellow and orange. There's a whiff of chocolate about them, real chocolate. These are, well, in keeping with Halloween, the term I could best come up with is "zombified". They are just bad...bad, bad, bad, bad.

A friend can't find these in her area so I happened to find myself in Target the other day. I had to search the candy aisle to find a bag. The pumpkin ones were gone too, replaced by bags of collections of candy. I don't know if this means this wacky experiment in taste combinations is over or if they only made just so many and if you aren't quick on your feet, you just won't get any. What I'm hoping is that M&Ms fires the guy (and it HAS to be a guy. No woman would unleash these abominations on the world.) who thought pumpkin and candy corn were great ideas.

If you happen to find these on your store shelf, do yourself and your wallet a favor and don't buy them. Leave them there. Leave them to rot. I ate a couple handfuls and said, "Forget this noise." The rest was left for the raccoons. I took the bag into the kitchen and it sat on the table for a few days before I put them out. Every time I walked into the kitchen, there was that smell, that overpowering smell of sugar. You shouldn't be smelling your candy before you get to it.

And, even though I know raccoons will eat anything. I felt kind of bad for them. At least with moldy leftovers, there might be some nutritional benefit.

Beverage:  Water


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