Monday, September 3, 2012
I've come to the end of an alphabet theme that I kind of fell into early in August. The month went by and, although I tried to keep up, I just couldn't. Last month was the first month since I started blogging that I have not had a post a day. Believe me when I tell you this bothered me, greatly and truly bothered me.
The thing is, I just couldn't. I'd log on and sit here, looking through Flickr for an illustrative photo that would match with the next letter up. I don't know how many times I said to myself, "I can't come up with 'L' or 'P' or 'T'. I've got nothing." Something would pop up. I can usually come up with several posts at a time. You know, if you're a long-time reader, that my posts come in batches. I limit myself to 4 a day when they explode in my head like that. Why 4? That's how many I have on a page. Other bloggers just post one or maybe 2 a day, but when I write, I write so you might as well see all of the ideas that bounced around on this particular date.
During the month of zooming thither and yon, the well nearly ran dry. I was so tired at night, posting was something of a joke. I will often post at work because I have time or post when the inspiration strikes and schedule the post to pop up on the site on a certain day. But having a great deal to do at the office, feeling overwhelmed at home, being tired and worn out from driving was like, to use an overdone cliché, the perfect storm to staunch blogging ideas.
blog post at the end of July. I wanted to reciprocate with puddle stomping photos of my own. But, because it's just me, I had to take my photos looking down, me standing in puddles. I took the photo above with the umbrella and then ditched that to just stand in the driveway and get soaked. There is something wonderfully cleansing about a summer rain, particularly one that does not come with percussion and fireworks.
Last weekend, as I was feeling the effects of the RA flare up, it rained. It wasn't a very long rain, maybe 20 minutes, but it was just rain. I went outside and sat in one of the chairs on the deck, just sat, in the rain, on a Saturday afternoon. Yes, you will get wet if you just sit on your deck in the rain, but the "zoom zoom" of the title washed itself away. All the "wouldda", "couldda" and "shouldda" of the past month washed away as well. I let it go. I didn't fight it.
"Zoom zoom" can be really hard to turn off. The obligations of life call for you to be in x place at y time. You must work to provide. Follow these rules. Get this done. Stand here. Don't spit and keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. I just wanted off the blinkin' ride by the end of August.
This weekend has been a forced "off". The remnants of Hurricane Isaac wandered through Chicagoland on Saturday. Where I live, we got spotty rain as if it couldn't make up its mind. Only once was the rain strong enough to be interesting to stand in and, at that time, I was checking football scores. By the time I was done, it was over. There was no standing in this for it wasn't there.
Tomorrow is the last day of vacation and then I go back to the office. I go back refreshed and with a better attitude and in a better frame of mind. I thought I'd do all this "stuff" while I was out and what I've wound up doing mostly is sleep. I've done a great deal of self-care, something I struggle with doing when "zoom zoom" is turned on. It's vital and necessary that I have that need to push through things. Life can be a meander but there are times when you have to move it a long a bit. Bills have to be paid and clothes have to be washed so "zoom zoom" is necessary. I just need to figure out how to turn it off and when to turn it off so it's most beneficial.
Yours, at 1:20 a.m. on Labor Day.