Friday, December 9, 2011

Milk Maids

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight maids a milking.

Now we switch gears in the song. From here to the end, the verses involve people. That can be harder to quantify in terms of costs. PNC says eight maids a milking will cost $58. They give nice rationales for these costs, but what they didn't include was the cost of a cow. The song clearly says the maids are 'milking'. They aren't just showing up in a nice dirndl and standing on your front stoop. They are there to work. But, we'll take PNC at their word. You'll need to hire these maid for 4 days so the total cost is $232.

What shall we substitute for maids milking? Let's look at the product, milk. Ah! Ice Cream! Of course. Go to Oberweis Dairy and check out their ice cream offerings. I buy their milk and ice cream year 'round and they will ship ice cream anywhere in the US. You get 4 quarts of ice cream for $31.99. If you order right now, get yourself a quart of their egg nog ice cream. It is luscious. Their vanilla is superb and goes perfect with warmed apple or pumpkin pie. I'd add a quart of chocolate peanut butter and a quart of chocolate. We'll need 8 flavors to represent the 8 maids so your second order could be cookies dough, apple strudel, butter pecan and their seasonal pumpkin flavor.

For the next day, give your true love a gift certificate to cover 8 flavors of Dairy Queen blizzards. Oh my, the possibilities are almost endless; turtle pecan cluster, chocolate extreme, M&M's, Snickers, Oreo, cookie dough, banana cream pie and strawberry cheesequake. A medium blizzard costs $5.00 so buying a DQ gift card for $40 covers all 8 blizzards.

On day 3, you'll want to send your true love a $40 gift card for Baskin Robbins. Suggest the following flavors: peanut butter, rocky road, pistachio almond, cherries jubilee, rainbow sherbet, and world class chocolate. Check to see if they have winter white chocolate, a seasonal flavor. They also advertise some regional flavors. I'd get black walnut myself.

Lastly, take a look at If they don't have it, it's probably not something you want to eat. You MUST get a container of Blue Moon. It comes in a pint for $3.99. Birthday cake comes in a case of 12 cups with the little wooden spoons for $12.99. A pint of Root Beer Float ice cream is $5.99. Amaretto almond is $6.99. A pint of cinnamon, which I could see with a scoop of vanilla on the top of apple pie is $6.39. For something a little different, get the lemon chiffon for $7.99 a quart. Add a pint of spumoni for $6.49. Lastly, get a quart of Superman for $6.99.

That's a lot of ice cream but your true love is worth it. You've spent $201.80. Like the cheesecakes, ice cream can be frozen. I have a quart of Oberweis Egg Nog ice cream in the freezer right now. Covered with hot fudge, whipped cream and a walnuts, it is a wonderfully decadent low cost dessert. Dessert nothing. I'm thinking that's supper on Saturday night.

Beverage: Gingerbread spice tea


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