Sunday, July 26, 2009

2 for a buck

It's hard to type your blog while you're holding a cat. But I need to cut her some slack. I think today it completely set in that she's alone now, that Rascal really is gone.

I had to go to PetSupplies Plus for cat food. With all of Betsy's problems in keeping on weight, I was feeding her, when I was home, every time she seemed to want it. That she would make a mess on the kitchen floor or only realistically eat half of what I'd put down and the rest would have to be thrown wasn't of consequence. It has been all about beefing her up.

Cats know when one is ill and will step aside to let the sick one have more. Rascal had been doing that for months, letting Betsy eat. But the last two months saw Rascal turning up her nose at most anything I put down. I would follow her in the morning or evening admonishing her to eat, even a little, of what I gave her. (Betsy moved from shoulder to lap for easier typing.) It was akin to getting a 2 year-old to eat peas. I went through so much cat food in the last 6 months, it's pretty ridiculous.

So now, it's just Betsy. Today has seen little appetite although she does go into the kitchen and nibble. She ate the last can, or moved it around on her dish while nibbling. I left to get more food, 62 cans equaling 2 of every flavor I know she eats. When I came home, she was sitting in the hall looking into my bedroom, the direction Rascal was on Wednesday. She let out a rather plaintive mew when she saw me and came trotting into the kitchen.

I think there is grief here. I know, from losing 3 other cats prior to Rascal, that cats have to grieve in their own way. Betsy is very subdued today. She doesn't even follow me around every place I go. I'm trying not to see this as "giving up" or that her kidney disease has gone beyond return. I'm going to keep her in my lap where she's currently dozing and purring and hope that helps with the grief. With her here, I know I won't be getting up because it's too quiet to go find her.

Beverage: Dr. Pepper


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