The Anti-Resolutions

It's that time of our lives when, as one year leaves, we look back, take stock and think about the good, the bad and the really ugly. We are assaulted with lists of what was "trending", what "needs to die", what to look for in the upcoming year, what to ignore, you name it, there's probably a list for it. We're also assaulted by articles explaining resolutions, how to make realistic ones and how to keep them. Every psychologist willing to talk to a reporter has a way to keep your resolutions. But, let's face it, even the best intended ones can be rough to integrate into life. 

As I look back over a life of failed resolutions, I decided to approach the process differently. I'm calling these my anti-resolutions or the things I will not do in 2014.

I will not learn Esperanto. I'm going to have to think of other ways to communicate with people than trying to learn a manufactured language. 

I will not learn to make haggis. It may represent a part of my heritage, but the ingredients are very hard to find. This is going to force me to cook other things for myself. 

I will not follow the Cardassians, mainly because they don't exist. No, I didn't misspell that. Google it. You'll see. I will not waste time trying to keep up with these fake celebrities. The really important people, the real rock stars, the real cinematic superstars are my friends. I will not contribute to the "cult" of celebrity. I will not buy into popularity. You'll need to pardon my cluelessness when I ask, "Justin who?"

I will not allow poisonous people to leech their relationship rot into my life. I've made excuses for a long time. I will no longer continue to make excuses. They are what they are and they are welcome to it. I will not be caught up in them. 

I will not obsess about my weight, nor will I  neglect my health. I will not miss a meal under a misguided notion that skipping cuts calories. I will not stock the cupboard with chips, crackers and cookies because I'm too tired to cook, but neither will I not buy them. 

I will not ignore the signs of depression and I will give myself latitude to cry, scream or curl up in a ball and sleep. But I will not use depression as a weapon against others. I know what that looks like. 

I will not obsess about the "I shoulds" and then beat up my self-esteem because I "should" have done x and I did y. I will not fail to realize that I am human and, as such, am prone to doing stupid things and making stupid decisions. 

I will not pretend to be an astrophysicist, a bunion surgeon or a Pullet-surprise winner, but neither will I neglect my intelligence. Learning is important to me and I've felt my gray matter declining because I don't tempt it with new ideas. So, in the interest of feeding my brain, I'll not be posting as many Facebook updates as I did in 2013. I will not pretend that social media is the way for me to stay connected. 

I will not neglect the little things that bring me happiness and joy. Toward that end, I may be less here and more out there because out there is where reality lies. 

Lastly, I will not have no hot cocoa in the cupboard. If you will excuse me now, I need to find a source of good instant hot cocoa. It's the little things that bring us joy, you know. 

Beverage:  Sparkling grape juice

Deb

Into the System

I'm half-way between visits with Dr. Francis about my RA. It's been nice not to have to plan life around her visits. I do have minor flare-ups but I take it easy and, after a couple of days, it goes away. I sometimes get achy for, what I can determine, is no discernible reason but this is still new territory and will be for a couple more years.

What I have not counted on is the peripheral amount of time spent in various doctor offices having a variety of tests done under the guise of "maintenance". I remember having a friend who lives with a chronic illness complain about seeing yet another doctor. Today, I am saying I should be shamed for thinking to myself, "Just go. Why are you complaining?" I didn't know. I hadn't walked even so much as 15 feet in her shoes. I know now what it is like and I am not amused.

I understand the need to make sure you are in the best health you can be as you progress from one life stage to another. In my case, RA elevates your risk of heart attack. They do not know why, at this point, they just know it does. So, it does make sense to have a blood work panel done. And I guess it does make sense to see your general practitioner, the one who started this all, after not seeing him for 18 months. Yet, I'm really disliking all the people who are suddenly involved in my care.

My glucose and triglyceride levels are high. There is another doctor's appointment scheduled to address those. I believe it's because, at the time of the blood draw, I wasn't eating well. I'm eating much better and had the blood been drawn this week, I firmly believe the results would have been completely different. I'm going to push back on adding new drugs to the line-up I keep on the microwave. A drug is not always the answer. I think diet modification is the key here to lowering both of those numbers.

The nodules on the thyroid necessitated a trip to a specialist. "And why are you here to see me?" he asked. "I have nodules on my thyroid," I replied. He chuckled and said, "Who doesn't?", which made me feel that getting up at 5:45 to get to a 7:40 appointment with him only to be faced with filling out 8 pages of medical history, information that is available in my online profile to which he has access, worthless. I came really close to saying, "Why am I here then?" But he quickly added that, in my case, the nodules were at or over 2 centimeter in diameter which is grounds for doing a biopsy just to be sure. "95% of these are benign and of the 5% that aren't, the cure rate on thyroid cancer is 97%," he said. "I'm willing to bet your nodules are benign but we should look at them." Again, the word, "Why?" entered my mind. I realize, partially, that it is probably in my best interest to have this done but he only takes appointments from 8:30 to 1:30 and I refuse to miss work for this. I'll get it done on the end of my vacation, not an ideal time, either, but one that is better able to accommodate something like this.

I was asked if I have sleep apnea. Then I was told that my neck interior is a bit on the small side and my tonsils, which swell a little with age, were throttling my airway, probably making it tough to breathe. "I'm going to prescribe a sleep study for you. I think you should see about this."

Now, here's where I part company with the medical establishment. I have lost count the number of friends who have come back from a doctor's visit with the comment, "...and he wants me to have a sleep study." I remember, back in 2011, when I was being treated by an orthopedic surgeon for pain in my knees. He told me, "If any doctor tells you that you need your knees replaced, you come talk to me and you get two more opinions. I'm telling you right now, knee replacements are lucrative for doctors. I refuse to do it until there is absolutely no cartilage left in your knee and the joint is starting to deteriorate. Before then, it's just a money maker for a doctor. The rehabilitation for run of the mill replacement like that is excruciating and you are NOT a candidate for it." It was refreshing to hear such honesty and I wish this would come into play in the area of sleep.

Not all my friends have sleep apnea. I have friends who sleep deeply, friends who sleep lightly. I have friends who must have a completely pitch black room to sleep and some who can fall asleep anywhere at any time including broad daylight, and not because they are exhausted. They just have the capability to sleep wherever they are. I can't sleep well the first night I'm in a hotel room. It takes the second night for me to get comfortable with the noise and the feel of a different mattress. I can sleep like a rock or I can't get to sleep to save my soul. I'll have the weirdest dreams and the next night not remember anything. I have allergies and that contributes to snoring as does my weight gain. Sleep apnea, however...?

A friend who works in the medical field told me the usual treatment for sleep apnea, a C-Pap machine, is a lucrative money maker for a doctor or hospital. The sleep study is also a money maker requiring not a lot of personnel to watch the sleeper or to interpret the results. Therefore, I look at the sleep study in the same fashion as the orthopedist looked at knee replacements. If I really am having problems sleeping, waking up repeatedly in the night, feeling exhausted in the morning, then I may have a problem. Until that time comes, I am not interested in that kind of a study. Dr. Francis wants my eyes checked as that's where I first notice a flare-up; my eyes get very itchy and red. Dr. Burandt wants a colonoscipy. To me, these things are far more important than feeding the medical system for a sleep study. So, the next step is the thyroid biopsy. Then, when the results come back from that, I take the next step.

I guess, as one ages, more things simply start to wear out. Add a chronic or auto-immune disease to this and you find yourself in multiple doctors' offices. I'm still not used to the fact that I went from seeing the doctor every other year to seeing the doctor every four months and adding names to my list of physicians. I'm working on convincing myself that I'm doing what I need to in order to stay healthy, even if it does mean getting up at 5:45 in the morning for a 7:40 appointment.

Beverage:  Raspberry Seltzer

Deb

And Now For Maintenance

With the RA stabilized, it's time to handle all the other things that fit into this. I've had almost as many tests as I remember having during finals week in college. These are the kind I can't study for. I checked in with my general practitioner and everything was ordered.

Blood tests. One of the side effects of RA is an increased risk of heart disease. The best I'm given to understand, doctors don't know why RA sufferers have this increased risk but my cholesterol has to be monitored yearly, every 6 months if there is a concern.

Now, I have genetically low cholesterol. Heart disease does not run in my family. For that, I am eternally grateful. But the results showed a high triglyceride level. Sustained high triglycerides can be precursors of heart disease.

The other, perhaps more bothersome, result was high glucose levels. Sustained high glucose number are one of the markers for diabetes. Again, this does not run in my family, but diabetes doesn't seem to be a genetic thing unless your mother had gestational diabetes.

Still, I'm worried, to be honest. I think this is a diet thing. I have to admit that my diet is crap, not to put too fine a point on it. When I come home from work, I have an agenda, tasks I want to accomplish. Many times, those tasks don't include cooking something for myself. Hence, I'll grab the quickest, easiest thing to eat or, believe it or not, skip supper altogether. I always, always eat breakfast. I cannot imagine a day starting without some form of breakfast. Cereal. Waffles. Pancakes. Fruit and yogurt. Peanut butter toast and milk. Oatmeal with raisins and walnuts. I don't eat those all in one sitting, but those are my preferred items for breakfast. The day always goes well when I have breakfast.

After that, it's a crap shoot. I've been known to skip lunch or skip dinner. Then I get really hungry about 9 p.m. and I'll grab a bowl of cereal or crackers or half a bag of M&Ms. This greatly influences what shows up in the grocery cart. I look around the kitchen and have nothing to grab and eat. So, while shopping, I add 3 boxes of granola bars to the cartand then eat half a box at 8:30 p.m. some night because I was too tired to cook at 6.

I love fresh fruit and vegetables. But buying them and then preparing them to be eaten during the week are two different things. What looks so inviting in the grocery on a Saturday morning looks quite a bit different after I've dragged it home and shoved it in the fridge.

Moving on to other health items. I have nodules on my thyroid. These were seen last year in a CT Scan. I had an ultrasound of the thyroid and they are still there. One of them is large enough to have the potential for a biopsy. Now, so as to not frighten me more than I already am about this, I was told that if you pull 10 people off the street and ultrasound their thyroid, 8 of them will have nodules. It's part of the aging process. I'm told that I shouldn't worry.

Unfortunately, these nodules have to be checked and I have the name and number of an ear, nose and throat specialist to call. I just don't like the idea of having to take off work time to do things. I feel as if I'm inconveniencing the office when I can't get an appointment except at 1:30 p.m. I'm awaiting the results of the mammogram which should be normal and not require any further follow-up.

The next steps are to call the ENT and check into an appointment. Wait for word on the mammogram.  I have a follow-up appointment with my regular doctor to discuss the high glucose and triglyceride levels. The more I read into these, the more I realize that my diet is probably wholly responsible for the skewed numbers. I've done a lot of things just because I've had to, but this diet thing...I just don't know. Convenience and familiarity seem to win out, more often than not, over what I should be eating. If I were cooking for more than just me, I can guarantee that my numbers wouldn't be as askew as they are.

This doesn't feel like a set back. I have felt so much better than in the last two years. There are bad days, to be sure. I kind of overdid it over the holiday weekend and am paying the price in stiffness and soreness for that overindulgence. I'm looking at all of these things as shoring up my ship which has become leaky over the last few years. We fix these leaks and I'll be as close to good as new as I can be. At the very worst, I'll get to know some people at the hospital by name.

Beverage:  Blackberry tea

Deb

But Mooooooo-ooooooom...

...does I hafta come out?

It was check-up time at our house Thursday and Friday. I have now gotten used to the idea that I don't have to be at the vet every month or week. It's only taken 3 years.

Pilchard went on Thursday. It was good to do her first. She can't really hide in a place where I can't get to her. The second I pulled the cat carrier out of the closet, Mija was gone. Scotty couldn't have beamed that cat away any better. I still don't know where she went, but I think, based on Pilchard's behavior after we got back, she was under the bed for a time. I have to remember at the end of this year that the carrier needs to come out at least 48 hours in advance of the visits so they are lulled into a sense of complacency. (Is this the point I do my evil laugh?)

Pilchard, being the chunk that she is, is overweight. I have to restrict food and no more treats. I didn't know that wet food tends to be more balanced. Cats must have meat because they don't produce taurine, a vital nutrient. Dr. Zollinger said, the problem is that the protein needed to produce taurine doesn't work well in dry cat food. Dry cat food, while many are nutritionally adequate for cats, contains more calories than wet. It's just the nature of wet versus dry cat food.

I have to look at the kind that I'm feeding them. If 40% of the calories are from carbohydrates, it's not good. I will have to look at a different kind. It will be more expensive, but not as expensive as wet cat food. They do not really like wet although, with any change of food, you go slowly, mix a little with the existing and then, as they learn to eat it, the current food will be gone and they will be eating what you want them to eat. I have a couple of names and I know what to look for on the label. There's a chance that what they currently eat is within dietary guidelines. I can hope.

Mija is only a pound over the 10 pounds the girls should be at. But she was like that when I got her and has stayed at this weight. I know I have used food to placate them when I've felt guilty about having to be gone for an extended time. The no treats edict is going to be hard because they have me quite trained and I just bought a bunch. I guess this will last me a long time.

I have decided Mija will continue to enjoy the number of treats she currently gets. Pilchard will get two, period. And I'm going to stop giving them treats when I'm home all day. They don't need it and are happy with me showering them with attention.

Both got rabies shots so we are good for another year. They got distemper last year and that's a three year shot. We're good for awhile on that.

Next year, I should consider doing the senior panel on each of them. A cat is considered "elderly" when they reach age 7. Having a baseline on blood work helps diagnose anything that might come up.

I want to urge you, if you haven't already, to take your pet to your vet once a year. I could get a 3 year rabies shot but knowing I have to take them in every year to get that is good for me. It keep tabs on their health; are they drinking and eating okay, lethargic, dull eyes and coat, etc. A vet appointment gives me an extra measure of comfort.

Our pets give us such an abundance of love. We should return the favor and make sure they are healthy.

Beverage:  Lady Gray tea

Deb

Why I Like Subway

Fast food sandwich joints are a dime a dozen around the office. Just over the hill is Jimmy Johns. In the strip mall with my bank is Jersey Mike's. Across the road is Quiznos. Go 4 blocks west and there's Meatheads and Potbelly and Subway. The grocery stores of Dominicks and Jewel have premade sandwiches and will make one for you off a limited menu. Going farther west, there's Panera, Arby's, Burger King, McDonalds and Wendy's with a sit-down place, Alfies, next to McDonalds. There is no shortage of places within easy distance to get a sandwich and this doesn't take into account the other places with other kinds of food that are within close proximity. Every single sandwich shop within a mile of the office has, at some point, wandered through here with free coupons to entice us into the store.

With all this choice, why do I continue to go back to Subway? There are any number of reasons not to eat at Subway. Two years ago, a couple of Subways, one of which I frequented because it was on the way back to the office from Chicago and I tended to make that drive at lunch time, had outbreaks of salmonella. That can be a death sentence for a restaurant. I don't remember what they determined was the source of the salmonella but I haven't been back to that Subway since it was completely closed and disinfected. That may have more to do with not traveling as much anymore as it does with being leery about sanitation.

Subway has come under fire for using breads that have high fructose corn syrup in them. Since I've been going there, the menu has changed to reflect the desire for healthier eating. Water, juice and tea are served. I remember when they weren't. I don't think the bread recipe has changed and yes, I can tell the whole wheat tastes a bit sweeter than the bread I buy for myself at home. I would wish they devise a bread that does not have high fructose corn syrup in it.

So why go there?

1. The first reason is cost. That's a foot long sandwich, 12 inches, and I got it for $5.32. Value. That's pure value.  Everyone else around here, with the exception of Burger King, Arby's and McDonald's costs more. When you are pinching pennies, how much you get versus how much you have to pay makes a difference.
2. Next, selection in breads. I go to Jersey Mike's because I have a free sandwich coupon. They have wheat and white rolls and that's it. Jimmy Johns has their roll and they will make a sandwich for you on white or wheat bread, that's it. Quiznos has white or wheat rolls. I haven't been to this Meatheads that just opened so I don't know what my bread choices are. At Panera, I can have a sandwich on any bread they have. Choice is more there. At Subway, there are 6 different breads and that makes each sandwich different. Plus, I can have it toasted or not toasted. Choice. Choice, in this case, is good.
3. I'm a creature of habit when it comes to sandwiches. Subway introduces new sandwiches all the time, but I have turkey and provolone cheese with lettuce, green pepper, spinach and a line of yellow mustard. The only thing I really change is the bread. Sometimes, I'll have ham or turkey and ham, but 95% of the time, it's turkey. The appeal of Jersey Mike's is that they fresh cut the meat when you order. The appeal of Quiznos and Potbelly is the toasted sandwich. The deli at the supermarket will cut your meat to order. Other places have pre-sliced their meat and cheese and accompaniments. I fail to see where one way is better than the other really. 

What does it come down to? Well, for me, it's cost and taste. Other than the brand new Meatheads, I've eaten everywhere else that can possibly make me a sandwich. I just don't see that anyone else's offerings are any better than Subway's. If I'm traveling, I look for a Subway before anything else. It just seems fresher. I don't have to get a drink or chips but I usually do. If I lop those off the purchase, I have a large sandwich for under $6. You cannot beat that.

I've been going to this Subway for so long, they know me by sight now, ask how I'm doing and how business is. I have, on my wall, a fax sheet for if we all wanted to chip in for sandwiches. I usually go when I have to shop at the Hallmark store adjacent to it or it's the beginning of the month and I've been paid. It's nice to walk into a shop and hear, "Hello my friend! What kind of bread will your sandwich be on today?"I've not been real thrilled with the reaction of some of the area sandwich shops when I tell them what I want. "That's it?" they ask, rather incredulously. Hey, it's not your sandwich. You can put onions and jalapenos and 6 tablespoons of mayonnaise on YOUR sandwich, not mine.

I also think, in looking around at my other options, this is very healthy for what I get. If I didn't get the chips and drink, it would be much healthier, but sometimes, going to Subway is the only soda I allow myself to have in a month and, if finances are tight, I don't go.

That's why I go to Subway. Jared, and his highly touted weight loss means nothing to me. They are having an anniversary this month. I don't care about that either. They had a tie-in with Brave and with the movie Battleship. How nice. Can I order my food now? I don't pick food based on promotional tie-ins. Good food priced well means much, much more.

Beverage:  Edinburgh's Finest tea

Deb

I Swore I Wouldn't But...

I'm a bibliophile. I cannot imagine a life where books are nowhere to be found. I realize some people live like that, but I cannot. If I could afford it, I would give books to everyone on my Christmas list, from children's books to horror, from fantasy to romance, from gardening to cookbooks.

I was in The Bookstore to pick up a couple of books I am giving as gifts. The owner of the store, Jane, and I go way, way back. I worked for her nearly 13 years ago. It was a delightful time in my life but it also cemented the observation that retail work is not for me. Working in a bookstore sometimes doesn't feel like retail but it sure is. Just because you're surrounded by the things you love, doesn't mean it's not a hassle to deal with the public every single day.

So, after paying for my books, we sat down to chat. I got caught up on her life and she got caught up on mine. We haven't seen each other, as I don't have the disposable income to be buying books regularly anymore, in over a year. She didn't know about the RA diagnosis.

We were chatting and suddenly, the other gal in the store, Jenny, stopped, looked at me and said to Jane, "That cookbook! Remember? That cookbook. What was it called?" It seems a chef was diagnosed with RA and, after some trial and error, discovered how much his diet factored into how he felt. He wrote a cookbook about it to help other sufferers with their diet. Jenny couldn't remember the name of the book, but she had given it to a friend within the last couple of months.

Now this is a "full-service" bookstore. Jenny called Kathy who got the book and gave Jenny the title. Well, neither Jane nor Jenny wanted me to buy a $35 cookbook based solely on their recommendation. They wanted me to see it. I wanted to see it. I have been looking for an RA cookbook since May when my doctor said one of her patients had recommended one. This isn't something  you find on the shelves at Barnes and Noble, however. I would have to order something and then, what if I don't like it. Jenny called a store across the street where she thought some copies were. As she was talking to the proprietor, she stopped, pointed at the shelves and said, "Never mind, Jill. We have one. I see it. It's right there." I did a quick page through and decided to bring it home with me. That's service.

I have to say, there are foods in here I won't touch, I don't care how nicely presented they are. Octopus and anchovies have their own chapter. Um...yeah. He's big on stone fruits; peaches and plums. Peaches are okay but I do love plums. He also touts oatmeal (huzzah!), berries (double huzzah!), broccoli, kale, eggs, and, would you believe it, dandelion greens. I can eat my yard in the spring!

This weekend, after I finish another book I started, I'm going to sit down and read this, just like I would read a novel. Let's see exactly what he found that helps him. How much of what he touts is palatable to me? Of course I'm going to start with the plums and the berries but what else can I add?

I swore to myself I would not buy another book for me. I will put books on my wish list but I wasn't going to buy a book just for me. I have so many. But, if this books does what its premise is, it will be well worth the price, even with the anchovies and the octopus.

Beverage:  Edinburgh's Finest tea

Deb

Tea For Me

Sometimes, I can be adventurous in my food choices. Tea isn't necessarily one of those places where I wish to experiment, however. I like my teas dark and robust with a flavor that makes me take notice. So, in spite of the touted health benefits of green tea and caffeine free teas, if given a choice, I want something I can't read a newspaper through. And herbals? Well, steeped grass clippings tend to be my view of herbals. I've just never enjoyed them, not even the fruity ones.

My guild mate, Meredith, sent the above tea in a box she created for me in February. Herbal. Well, I'll give a tea a chance or two to make an impression. I loved the color and the aroma was unlike anything I'd had before. Two mugs later and I've decided I really like this tea. Something tugged at my memory and I remember I've had this before but it was a couple of years ago at a coffee shop near my friend, Tonia's apartment. The shop was new and the free tea was a green that looked like water or this. I had this and I remember liking it then but not enough to want more.

I did some digging and this tea is made from a bush in western South Africa. The red tea is made from oxidized leaves. The tea is high in anti-oxidants and is naturally decaffeinated. It's purported to be good for nervous tension, allergies and digestive problems. What? You're saying it could be good for me beyond the fact that it's tea? It's usually served with milk and sugar or honey but I think it has a naturally sweet flavor on its own and I rarely put anything additional into my tea.

So, what this means is that I'm going to have to get more of this. I've probably consumed half of the box already so it's off to the grocery to see if they carry it first of all and then I'll check other sources. Thanks, Meredith, for expanding my beverage horizons. Ironically, it's not the tea I made this morning.

Beverage:  Edinburgh's Finest tea

Deb

Trying Change

It's taken a long time but I seem to have turned a small corner in life. With every paycheck, I save a little into a savings account and I have my IRA. From January through April, I saved 95% of all the expense checks I got as well as socked away a portion of my overtime. That allowed me to pay for 98% of my expenses for Carole's wedding. The only thing I had to charge was the gas at that rest stop in Indiana because they wouldn't take debit cards. I am really proud of myself for that accomplishment, given where I was 18 months ago. This savings allowed me to get the Wheaton Ale Fest VIP ticket. I know I will have fun and I am worth it.

I am, by no means, out of the woods, so to speak. My car is slowing falling apart. I need to sink another $350 into it this summer. The canvas top, going on 5 years, at least, old, has cracked. That cost me $500 to replace when I replaced the original top and the two people from work who helped me then have moved on. I'm pretty sure it would be just me doing the job and I don't know that I have the patience to do that. It's time to seriously consider the longevity of the Jeep.

I can't control that, however. What I can control and what I have decided to work on is my diet. Sad doesn't quite cover it. I decided that, beginning Memorial Day, I would take the small steps necessary to change what I eat and make it healthier. I'm not following any diet, per se. I'm just doing small steps with a target to do them all week. If I tell myself I'm going to eat "healthy" for a month, 30 days is a long time and if I fail one day, I know me. I am very good at beating myself up.

Today was grocery day. I took stock of what I have and what I want to have in the fridge and cupboards, made a list and headed off to Dominicks.

I'm going to eat a yogurt a day. I love yogurt and I can find it in a huge number of tasty flavors.

I love salads. I got the fixings to make my own salads and save the $3.50 to eat off the salad bar at Dominicks. I would get a Dr Pepper and a slice of chocolate cake. I don't need the last two at all. The snap peas don't look very green in the photo but they are. I'll eat those with dip for a snack. By "dip" I mean a small container of salad dressing. No sense buying something called "dip" when salad dressing works just as well.

Fresh fruit will supplement the salad and make a perfect meal. I have dried cranberries on the shelf. I couldn't find the sunflower seeds. I'd like some of those and I have to shred some cheddar. Then, all I have to do is assemble the salad the night before, grab it in the morning, toss on some dressing and grab some sliced fruit with yogurt and I'm ready to go. If I'm too tired to cook at night, I can have a salad.

I bought what I think will last me a little over a week. With a grocery a 5-minute drive from the office, it's dumb to buy more than I can eat in a week. Dominicks is on the way home, too.

I have cut out processed foods save the few things I have on the shelf right now. No canned or boxed or frozen meals. I've had the last pizza I will have for a week. I am going to try to cook myself something every night or eat up left overs. This will be a daunting task because it's so easy to just grab a can or a box of something, nuke it and have dinner. And Carole will testify, the vegetable/fruit drawers in the fridge are for pre-composting those things which will wind up in the compost pile.

I have 2 weddings and 2-5 evenings out with friends in June. I won't suddenly say, "Oh my, nothing here meets my dietary impositions!" I will still go to Steak 'n Shake or Red Lobster or have wedding cake. Done in moderation, all things fit into a diet, even cheese fries from Steak 'n Shake.

So wish me well. One week. Then start again the next week. Then start again the next week. Baby steps. It takes awhile to learn new habits, learn to eat differently. I expect to fail but I'm going to try to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

And I'm giving myself permission to have one treat per week. I'm set for the next 6 weeks. Made with real sugar and not high fructose corn syrup. Expensive compared to a 2-liter or the fridge cases which were on sale. This is the bottle I remember from my youth. Same empty calories, but it's going to be my treat at the end of the week for doing what I told myself I'd do.

Beverage:  milk

Deb

A Couple of Things I Like

It's been hard to find even a sliver of rainbow amongst all this rain but I'm trying. I've discovered a couple of things that I rather like.

I'll start with juice. I've been a fan of V8 for a long time. It's a tasty blend of vegetables and really is a good way to get those vegetables during the day. I like this small can size as it's easy to pack in lunches. I may drink tea or water during the day but a can of V8 is a great pick-me-up in the middle of the afternoon when I might otherwise want chocolate.

I'm not sure about pomegranate juice, however. I've had it on a couple of occasions and it's been kind of tart. Perhaps it was mixed with something but I wasn't very sold on drinking that. Plus the cost for pomegranate is far higher than plain old apple juice.

There was a coupon in the paper for a dollar off a 6-pack of V8 Fusion. That kind of coupon will make me look at something as a possibility. I enjoy having juice in the house so, why not. I can take the cans to work if I like the taste.

Yes, I do like the taste. Health food web sites will remind consumers that "high fructose corn syrup" is in some juice and that makes it no different than soda pop. That stuff may be "all natural" but it's an intense sugar and shouldn't be consumed in quantity. And just because it says 100% juice also doesn't mean it's 100% of the juices listed on the front. This juice lists apples and grapes first as do a lot of juices. Apples are cheaper to grow than blueberries so they are used as filler juice. It's juice, just not in the quantity you might expect by the name on the front.

Still, it's juice and it does contribute to my desire to consume more fruits and vegetables. I won't buy this unless I can get it on sale with a coupon. The full price cost does not justify having it on the shelf.

The other item I'm liking right now is this cleaner from Dow.

The big buzz word is "green" and you'd be a fool to underestimate the consumer's demand for more environmentally friendly products. This bathroom cleaner is witness to this. I like scrubbing bubbles. They get rid of the soap scum and the rust spots and make the bathroom sparkle. But they also cause my allergies to explode. I was down to a small amount of scrubbing bubbles and saw this on the shelf. It was cheaper than the scrubbing bubbles were with their coupon. I guess I can try it.

It's been great. I have to scrub a bit harder but it does exactly what scrubbing bubbles did. The label says no bleach, ammonia, phosphorous or dye. It does have a scent which still causes me to have to leave the confines of the bathroom and run the exhaust fan for an hour between cleaning the shower walls and the tub. If they could do away with the smell, I could clean my bathroom in one fell swoop without having to leave because I'm coughing. The fact that it was less expensive than a synthetic cleaner makes it doubly good. It did a very good job on my tub/shower. I just have the floor to wash now and the whole bathroom is clean.

Those are quite disparate recommendations but I pass them along to you.

Beverage: Ginger ale

Deb