As I look back over a life of failed resolutions, I decided to approach the process differently. I'm calling these my anti-resolutions or the things I will not do in 2014.
I will not learn Esperanto. I'm going to have to think of other ways to communicate with people than trying to learn a manufactured language.
I will not learn to make haggis. It may represent a part of my heritage, but the ingredients are very hard to find. This is going to force me to cook other things for myself.
I will not follow the Cardassians, mainly because they don't exist. No, I didn't misspell that. Google it. You'll see. I will not waste time trying to keep up with these fake celebrities. The really important people, the real rock stars, the real cinematic superstars are my friends. I will not contribute to the "cult" of celebrity. I will not buy into popularity. You'll need to pardon my cluelessness when I ask, "Justin who?"
I will not allow poisonous people to leech their relationship rot into my life. I've made excuses for a long time. I will no longer continue to make excuses. They are what they are and they are welcome to it. I will not be caught up in them.
I will not obsess about my weight, nor will I neglect my health. I will not miss a meal under a misguided notion that skipping cuts calories. I will not stock the cupboard with chips, crackers and cookies because I'm too tired to cook, but neither will I not buy them.
I will not ignore the signs of depression and I will give myself latitude to cry, scream or curl up in a ball and sleep. But I will not use depression as a weapon against others. I know what that looks like.
I will not obsess about the "I shoulds" and then beat up my self-esteem because I "should" have done x and I did y. I will not fail to realize that I am human and, as such, am prone to doing stupid things and making stupid decisions.
I will not pretend to be an astrophysicist, a bunion surgeon or a Pullet-surprise winner, but neither will I neglect my intelligence. Learning is important to me and I've felt my gray matter declining because I don't tempt it with new ideas. So, in the interest of feeding my brain, I'll not be posting as many Facebook updates as I did in 2013. I will not pretend that social media is the way for me to stay connected.
I will not neglect the little things that bring me happiness and joy. Toward that end, I may be less here and more out there because out there is where reality lies.
Lastly, I will not have no hot cocoa in the cupboard. If you will excuse me now, I need to find a source of good instant hot cocoa. It's the little things that bring us joy, you know.
Beverage: Sparkling grape juice