Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Anti-Resolutions

It's that time of our lives when, as one year leaves, we look back, take stock and think about the good, the bad and the really ugly. We are assaulted with lists of what was "trending", what "needs to die", what to look for in the upcoming year, what to ignore, you name it, there's probably a list for it. We're also assaulted by articles explaining resolutions, how to make realistic ones and how to keep them. Every psychologist willing to talk to a reporter has a way to keep your resolutions. But, let's face it, even the best intended ones can be rough to integrate into life. 

As I look back over a life of failed resolutions, I decided to approach the process differently. I'm calling these my anti-resolutions or the things I will not do in 2014.

I will not learn Esperanto. I'm going to have to think of other ways to communicate with people than trying to learn a manufactured language. 

I will not learn to make haggis. It may represent a part of my heritage, but the ingredients are very hard to find. This is going to force me to cook other things for myself. 

I will not follow the Cardassians, mainly because they don't exist. No, I didn't misspell that. Google it. You'll see. I will not waste time trying to keep up with these fake celebrities. The really important people, the real rock stars, the real cinematic superstars are my friends. I will not contribute to the "cult" of celebrity. I will not buy into popularity. You'll need to pardon my cluelessness when I ask, "Justin who?"

I will not allow poisonous people to leech their relationship rot into my life. I've made excuses for a long time. I will no longer continue to make excuses. They are what they are and they are welcome to it. I will not be caught up in them. 

I will not obsess about my weight, nor will I  neglect my health. I will not miss a meal under a misguided notion that skipping cuts calories. I will not stock the cupboard with chips, crackers and cookies because I'm too tired to cook, but neither will I not buy them. 

I will not ignore the signs of depression and I will give myself latitude to cry, scream or curl up in a ball and sleep. But I will not use depression as a weapon against others. I know what that looks like. 

I will not obsess about the "I shoulds" and then beat up my self-esteem because I "should" have done x and I did y. I will not fail to realize that I am human and, as such, am prone to doing stupid things and making stupid decisions. 

I will not pretend to be an astrophysicist, a bunion surgeon or a Pullet-surprise winner, but neither will I neglect my intelligence. Learning is important to me and I've felt my gray matter declining because I don't tempt it with new ideas. So, in the interest of feeding my brain, I'll not be posting as many Facebook updates as I did in 2013. I will not pretend that social media is the way for me to stay connected. 

I will not neglect the little things that bring me happiness and joy. Toward that end, I may be less here and more out there because out there is where reality lies. 

Lastly, I will not have no hot cocoa in the cupboard. If you will excuse me now, I need to find a source of good instant hot cocoa. It's the little things that bring us joy, you know. 

Beverage:  Sparkling grape juice


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