Friendship Means

"Bring all your laundry with you when you come," Patt emailed.

My response? "What?" I swear the lady is crazy. Bring ALL my laundry?

"Yes, bring all the sheets, blankets, rugs, clothing you have to wash. Bring it all when you come visit. We can hang it out on my lines or, if the weather is bad, dry it in my dryer."

I thought that was a huge, huge imposition upon a friend, even one I've known for 27 years. But Patt was insistent. I wasn't going to bring my laundry. Nevermind that my washer is dying and will need to be replaced soon. I can do small loads and it will all get done, eventually. Nope. Nope. Patt kindly ordered me to bring all of it. I hesitated until my friend, Pam, said, "That is a wonderful offer. Such a kind friend." She remembered having friends offer the use of their washers when she was a brand new military wife living in the "wonderful" military married housing. It's funny, but Pam's indirect blessing caused me to stuff my laundry into garbage bags and haul it to Minnesota.

Everything went; all the bedding, all the blankets, all the rugs, all the pants and shirts, all of it. We washed it. We dried it. I should have taken a photo of Patt's lint trap after drying some of the rugs in the dryer. They had been out on the line but it rained so we used the dryer. I have a black cat. She sheds. I'm pretty sure half a cat was stuck to the lint trap. We pulled towels out of the washer and all these little pills of black fur fell out. We had a great laugh.

Patt's purpose in asking for my laundry was to ease the going up and down of the basement stairs. If everything was done, if I didn't have to go up and down the stairs every day, that would help with my sciatica and my RA. I came home and put it all away. It was such a great feeling to know I was caught up on my laundry.

It wasn't quite enough to make it through the month, so I have done a couple small loads. Then the rains came. I got close to 3 1/2 inches and that amount of water will cause seepage in some places between the wall and the floor of the basement. When I went to bed, there was nothing on the floor. In the morning, there was water. A pile of pants and a pile of shirts was soaked. Hearing this, Pam immediately offered her washer and dryer so I could do both loads and not in little batches. Plus, with the basement drying out, any wash hung on my lines is doing to take twice as long.

I figure there will be sales over the July 4th holiday. What better way to celebrate our nation's independence than by having appliances go on sale. I'll be ready. I don't know if I can stretch the clean clothes without using my washer a couple more times. I'm going to try. Pam said, if it gets to the end of the month and I'm really low on clothes, just let her know.

This is friendship. "Bring all your laundry with you when you come."

Beverage:  Raspberry seltzer water

Deb

You Asked For Them

I have great friends. You know the kind. They are the ones who "get" you. That's an overused word, but it's truth. If someone doesn't see your kind of humor or share most, but not all, of your tastes, they won't understand why you think Monty Python and the Holy Grail is the best movie to feature knights and bathroom humor ever made.

I engaged my friend, Patt, in a series of emails at the end of January. They started with the usual, "How's the weather?" "Awful. How's it by you?" "Rotten." She mentioned, at the time, that she was sucking on Lifesavers. She'd been given a bunch and they are a nice treat with few calories but just enough flavor to tide one over when you're between meals. I realized I hadn't had a roll of Lifesavers in my purse in years. It used to be something I always had. She's right in that the little burst of flavor can be all you need to get through the late morning or afternoon between meals. And Lifesavers can double as cough drops. I used them alot for that reason, if I didn't have cough drops in my purse.

She mentioned that in her package were banana-flavored Lifesavers and they were not a flavor she liked. "I adore the other ones, just not banana." I mentioned that I really liked the banana ones. Pineapple-flavored got chucked into the garbage. I never had a roll of the tropical flavors in my purse. I usually had the 5 standard flavors or, if I could find them, wintergreen. Oh heavens. Wintergreen is my favorite, but they are so hard to find. I jokingly told her I'd take her banana-flavored ones. I assumed she had a roll and not a box of Lifesavers.

Fast forward to February 12th. I come home and there is a box with Disney emblems all over it. I look at this and think, "Oh Carole was smart and got something for Valentine's Day when she visited Disney World back in November." Imagine my surprise when I opened the box and saw this.

It took me a minute or so to figure this out because, no, I hadn't looked at the return address label. I asked for them? What are these? They are lemon Life...oh wait a minute. I burst out laughing. It felt kind of weird because I thought when I opened the box and realized what these were, that Patt had gone through her rolls of Lifesavers picking out the banana ones. She had then just dropped them in a bag to send to me.

When I opened the bag, I find that the Lifesavers are individually wrapped.

You know how you'll share a lot with your friends. I wasn't sure I wanted to share unwrapped banana Lifesavers picked from a roll and tossed into a bag. It's one thing to have your friend point the roll at you and say, "It's a banana one. Want it?" You can see the status of the Lifesaver, but I thought, "If these are just Lifesavers in a bag, I may not eat them." This thought leads me to another thought, "When did I get so paranoid?" I trust my friends. Why would I consider tossing perfectly good Lifesavers because they weren't in wrapped packages? Hmmm...there's a blog post in that. But I digress.

Patt is right. A Lifesaver at 10:30 and 3:00 eases the hunger pangs until lunch or dinner. I am so enjoying the explosion of banana flavor and I giggle every time I open one up thinking about how I got these. And, these are my Lifesavers. You get your own.

Beverage:  English Breakfast tea

Deb

Friendship Food

"Food is our common ground; a universal experience."  James Beard

Food unites us. When we think about meeting someone, we do it over food. We talk about bonding experiences such as, "She made a roast like my mom did". A wedding includes the experience of food. If we christen children, we usually have a celebratory meal afterwards. Graduations include an open house with food. Holidays are ripe with food. And, when we move on to another existence, our survivors come together afterward for a comforting meal, to remember and reflect. "This was his favorite food".

As I look back over the holidays, it struck me that the fun times, the calm times, the times that centered my existence revolved around food. It started with a Saturday brunch with Pam. She found a Baker's Square reasonably close to us and that's where we went.

There used to be one near the high school and, our bonding time, our getting to know each other time, was spent after football games or band practice, sitting in the booths or at the back table, laughing and talking. When that Baker's Square closed, there just wasn't one close by. We've missed it, well, the pie, mainly. We maintain our friendship over Steak 'n Shake and IHOP, but finding a Baker's Square reasonably close brings back a different time. There are so many wonderful memories contained in that glass decanter of hot water. Other than putting their names on their mugs, the method in which they serve tea has not changed in oh so many long years. I always liked this kind of decanter. It really doesn't spill and the wait staff knows when I'm out of hot water.

For Christmas, one of my guild members sent me a Subway card. It was completely unexpected and I was floored. Well, Subway is kind of the perfect thing to get me, truth be told. It's the right size. It's the right color. It won't be out of style in 6 months. It doesn't cost an arm and a leg to ship.

There are 2 Subways near me, but I'm known by face at the one closest to the office. Thanks to the card Carole sent for my birthday and the one Don sent at Christmas, I now have the staff trained. When I walk in, the only questions they ask me is, "What kind of bread? Do you want it toasted?" I'm kind of predictable.

Subway is comfort food as well as being a bit better for me than gorging on hamburgers and fries. With these crappy days  of cold and then rain, sleet and snow mixed, I came home exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was cook. That makes me eat handfuls of cereal at 10 p.m. because I am hungry. This isn't good nutrition. Having a Subway card to use to get a good sandwich was a godsend. For several days, I ate well. Mija and Pilchard like the turkey so I do have to share but with lettuce, spinach and green peppers, I'm getting some servings of vegetables. On that one night when driving was an exercise in patience, having this in the front seat for supper made the stress melt away. I had to go out the next day, but, for the moment, I was calm.

And Patt sent me another Starbucks card. Starbucks isn't a place I frequent because I'm not a coffee drinker. During the winter, however, there is nothing like hot cocoa or their hot apple cider drink to take the chill out of the air. As I've been out in the field, including one Saturday of work, having a Starbucks card made the day go by easier.

That's a blueberry scone. It's not triangular as the ones at Panera are, but they warmed it for me. I sat in Starbucks and sipped my cider, munched my scone and thought of the friends who made this and my other treats possible. Dietitians may bemoan the amount of friendship eating that one does because it can be filled with not so great choices, but I think the friends who care to go find a long lost restaurant or provide you with gift cards to favorite places are worth keeping. I'm ever so grateful for their thoughtfulness and when that gift card comes out of the wallet, I smile.

Friendship food is the best food.

Beverage:  Water

Deb

It Came From a Land Down Under

I got a box a week ago, a big box.

It sat on the floor without me examining the contents beyond looking to see if anything was broken, for about a week while I worked on getting things wrapped and shipped. I finally opened it over the weekend. The girls had inspected the exterior thoroughly, but when Mija fell into the box trying to get one of the closed flaps open, they left it alone.

I wish I could have gotten a photo of a cat with packing peanuts attached to her fur. Oh the indignity.

The box came from Australia where my friend, Amber, lives. It was packed with all sorts of goodies. First of all, we have these.

When we talk about food, she often mentions Tim Tams. My remark is an erudite, "Huh?" She wondered if they would melt since they are two wafer cookies with a chocolate moussey center covered in chocolate. Oh dear me. It's a good thing we don't have these here. Seriously. Very seriously. I preferred the one on the right, the all chocolate version. The mint in the one on the left was a bit strong for me. I took them to work and my co-workers liked them. They said they wouldn't eat them all the time, but they fit the spirit of Christmas. I would snarf, inhale, the ones on the right without a second thought, they were so good.

After that came a birthday present.

I have not opened this, yet. Here's the back of the box.

I have never seen anything like this anywhere and I like to think I'm up on the off-beat, weird, more than a little askew gifts. This makes me giddy with excitement. Creating my own garden gnome? How awesome can this be? After Christmas, when things are  more quiet, this gets my full attention. Arise my gnome army! Time to take over the world!

There was also a Christmas present down in the bottom of the box.

For sure that string wrap got played with. I have other gifts piled on top of this box now so Mija, in particular, can't attack the bauble any more than she's done.

Thanks to the Internet and World of Warcraft, I have a dear friend in Australia. The world might be more homogenized than we'd like to admit, but there are very easy ways to send a piece of you and a piece of where you come from to someone half-way around this globe. I hold these gifts and I think of Amber standing in a store in Australia. Australia! Now, here they are in my living room in North America. I tell myself that some day we will meet. I hope that's true. For now, I am very content to hold these gifts and know that she picked them out for me. To me, it feels like a part of her was in that box along with packing peanuts that stuck to Mija.

Beverage:  Darjeeling Tea

Deb

Despicable

I got another box of awesome from Meredith this past weekend.

I don't remember, anymore, how I came to call her my "minion". It's been a running joke for a long time.

There is an animated movie out now, "Despicable Me 2", the sequel to the original "Despicable Me". After sending Meredith the bowl and the Skittles, she kept apologizing for not sending me something in return. She never has to do that. Friends don't keep a tally of who sent who what and when, but she loves to send me stuff.

Now, I hadn't seen the original movie, so in this box is a DVD of that movie. I will watch it this weekend. Then I'm told I have to go see the second one in the theater, that it's better than the first one. Minion Dave was something she saw in the store and decided I needed to have. I think he'd look really cute here on my office desk which means taking him out of the package. I have to get over myself that these things will be worth any money in the future, considering a million billion of them get produced as a movie tie-in.

Another reason I have to see the movie is this clip Meredith posted to my Facebook account.

I just giggle every time I watch it. "Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys will never be the same for me. The best line is the minion singing "potato" at the top of his lungs.

As usual with a box of awesome, there is chocolate. This box contains a bag of dark chocolate peanut M&Ms. I was really good about not eating the whole bag in a sitting. I divided it in half and then limited myself to half of one color. It helps that I like to dissolve the chocolate off the peanut and then eat the peanut. Taking time to eat an M&M that way means I eat less of them which makes the bag last longer.

She also sent these.

I have never seen these in my area. They are M&M's milk chocolate in a thin candy bar with bits of M&M's embedded in the bar. It's bits alright. The small amount of M&M bits almost seems like an afterthought. "Oh yeah, we make another candy. Let's see what pieces we have lying around that we can toss into the bar."

These are very good. I've found that their richness causes me to eat just one a day and I only recently started on them since I had the bag of M&M's to consume first. I might buy these if they are on sale, but I think a Snickers or Milky Way would leave me feeling like I got more of my money's worth.

I do think, however, that my weekend's entertainment will be a movie and a candy bar. Yes. That's a good way to spend a couple hours. Thanks Minion!

Beverage:  Irish Breakfast tea

Deb

A Merry Box of Stickers and Stuffs

The start of our abnormal rainfall on Wednesday was also the date I received a box from Meredith. These are always boxes of fun, as I'm starting to call them. I sort of know what's inside but am not completely sure. There are always surprises. This was no different. Meredith is psychic because the box was not very big so it fit perfectly between the front door and the storm door. This is a good thing. I think, had the postman wrapped it in plastic it would have been washed off the front steps. It was a hair too big to fit in the mail box, even the big farm box that I have.

Inside were wonderful things. It's mainly stickers, which she got at Hobby Lobby. They have a huge sticker department and when those are on sale, if you use stickers in any capacity, they are a good deal.

See the "boss" stickers at the lower left. I laughed so hard. Guild members have, thanks to Daniel, started calling me "boss". I don't feel like a boss, more like a guide, but it always gives me a chortle when someone types, "Hiya boss" when I log into the game.

And Meredith has been taking some classes in, I think, Medical Records Administration. She'll talk to me about her homework. "I'm really tired. I'll finish this in the morning," she'll say. The next day, I'll find out she went shopping. "Wait. Is your homework done?" "Um...no, but there was this sale..." "No dessert until you finish your homework." "Um...yes boss." Or I find out she gave some of her supper to Scooter, her black pit bull. "No dessert tonight. You gave your supper to the dog. It's not good for him to have people food." "Um...yes boss." I'm so effective that I can discipline her in San Antonio while I'm in Wheaton. It makes for some really funny conversations.

I'll come back to the above photo. Here's a second layer of stickers.

The dinosaur ones had me laughing. In the world that Blizzard has created in their game, they have added an island populated by dinosaurs. Because the game is what I do in the evenings after I've done my chores, Flat Stanley had to watch me play. Kids love dinosaurs too so what could be better than a photo of Stanley with the dinosaurs.

Yes, dinosaur stickers are most appropriate.

Here's the last layer.

That's 22 packages of stickers, all with multiple pages. I'm thinking I now have enough to cover anything I send between now and at least Labor Day, possibly beyond. Memo to self: when Meredith asks how your sticker stash is doing, define "getting low". On the other hand, I know she stood there and said, "One of these and one of these and OH! I HAVE to get her one of these and look! Those are awesome!" I just hope her squeals of delight in the sticker aisle didn't attract too much attention.

Now, go back to the top photo and look at the upper left. There is a tube of chocolate fish from her trip to Nantucket back in mid-March. Milk chocolate in fish shapes. Oh...my. They are gone. I ate the whole tube over the course of a couple evenings................................or maybe it was one evening. They were so good and such a mood elevator when all I could hear on Wednesday was the sound of heavy, heavy rain and trying to calm a frightened cat when the thunder shook the house.

The other item is, to use a 1960's term, way cool. It's a tote bag that is contained in a small zippered pouch. I've never seen something like this before. You unzip all the way around the pouch and the bag is folded inside.

You pull the bag out and it sits on what was the outside, if that makes sense.

I should have put something next to it for you to get a relative size, but this will hold two 2 liters of soda to give you an idea of how big it is. It's a nylon composite fabric that will pop into the washing machine with ease and is somewhat water resistant on the outside. When I'm done using it, it folds just like a road map meaning, I wound up making up how to fold it and then stuffing it back inside the pouch.

I am thrilled with this. The tag said it was $3.99 but I'm not sure where she got it or if that's what she paid for it. She might have found it on sale, knowing her ability to sniff out sales. I tossed this in the center well of the Jeep. I can't tell you how many times I'm at the office and I think, "I need x. I'll just run over to Dominicks after work and get it" and then ruing that I don't have one of my reusable bags with me. This is nice and small and will be perfect for those impromptu grocery runs. The hard part is going to be remembering to stick it back in the car when I've used it.

So, Wednesday went from cold and wet and windy to warm and funny. I guess I'd better get busy writing letters, hadn't I? I have stickers to use up.

Beverage:  Dr Pepper

Deb

My New Orleans Story

This wall decoration came from a gal I knew years ago. She had been to a convention around the time of Mardi Gras and these masks were at every place setting. She had been given an extra one which she passed on to me. It's one of my favorite possessions.

Today is Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras. I've told this story to a number of people but I thought today would be a fun day to put it out there for those of you who have never heard it and for those who have.

I've been to New Orleans. It was November of 1993. I flew to Jackson, Mississippi where a college friend, JoAnn, had settled. She had a sister-in-law who worked for Holiday Inn and we were able to score very steeply discounted rooms across Lake Pontchartrain from New Orleans. We made a several day itinerary. Day one was my arrival and our driving there. Day two, we did this circle driving loop that took in all these plantations that have been restored and opened for tours. One of the plantations we visited was Oak Alley. It was just as beautiful as the photos on this web site show you. We toured four plantations that day. The other three I can see in my mind's eye but I don't remember their names.

Oak Alley sticks in my head for two reasons. The first is that we had lunch there and JoAnn had me try the gumbo which had this stuff called "okra" in it. I'm not the best at trying new foods but she said, guaranteed in fact, that I would like this. I remember the soup/stew coming to the table. It was a creamy consistency with rice and these pieces of green in it. The sliced okra reminded me of flowers. It wasn't as horrible as I was anticipating. I haven't had okra since, however, but I wouldn't be averse to eating it again.

The second reason I remember Oak Alley was that Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt had just, the week before we toured the place, shot scenes for Interview with the Vampire, the film adaptation of Anne Rice's book, at the plantation. In fact, as we toured about the other plantations and New Orleans, we were told, "Oh Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt were here filming just yesterday" or "were here last week" or "were here 3 days ago". They were somewhere in the city while we were there. Our brush with fame. Ha.

The other thing going on was the Green Bay Packers were playing the New Orleans Saints that weekend. We hit Bourbon Street on Thursday. The point was to see the street during the day, to get our bearings and to be able to look around when there weren't crowds. Dave Brubeck's "Take Five" seemed to blare from all the bars. I love the song, but I had to admit that I found it annoying by the time we had walked the entire street. Friday morning, we drove around western Louisiana, just being tourists, following the Mississippi River north a ways. Then, we headed back to New Orleans to partake of Bourbon Street night life.

The weather was warm. Bourbon Street is one way. On Thursday, when we sat on a balcony overlooking the street, I marveled at and felt some sorrow for the delivery trucks that had to make deliveries to the bars and restaurants. It's two car widths wide but that's pushing it. On this Friday night, you combined the cars with the abundance of people and I think it's one of those "why are you driving here" type of experiences. The street caters to walkers and vehicles get in the way.

JoAnn and I started at Canal Street intending to walk all the way Esplanade Avenue as we had on Thursday. We just wanted to see the street at night. We would find a place to eat that looked inviting, not the place we had eaten at before, but some other place. We weren't going to eat in a bar. We wanted a restaurant.

The street was packed with Packer fans. A couple months prior to this, there had been sniper shootings in New Orleans. We were concerned about not being taken for tourists so we dressed down as much as was comfortable. We needn't have worried about being targets. Packer fans were resplendent in their green, white and yellow. Some of them, it seemed, hadn't been out of Wisconsin. Beer is available on street corners and if you don't have a drink in hand, you're fairly accosted by the vendors. This was a football fan from Wisconsin's heaven. They clustered around the vendors like ants on sugar making getting by without walking in the street nearly impossible. Like I mentioned, there was traffic along Bourbon Street. It really should be closed on weekend nights. There's just no room for people and cars.

What's also typical on Bourbon Street are the burlesque shows. There was the gal on a swing, wearing pasties and a g-string, who swung out over the sidewalk, blowing kisses and waving at the crowd below her. Packer fans stared with their mouths agape. JoAnn and I just looked at each other and shrugged. The reactions were quite comical.

We moved on, most of the time going with the flow of walkers. Suddenly the crowd came to a halt. One of the shows had the door open in the balmy night air, but the door didn't flatten completely against the building. So, you had to move around it and that meant walking a bit in the street. As we got close to the doorway, we could see some gal on stage, shaking her topless assets for all they were worth. There were a few people in the place, but not a whole lot. From our left came a shout, "Oh my god, Marv! You gotta see this!" and a group of about 5-7 Packer fans moved, en masse, across the street to stand right in our way and gape at the floor show.

Suddenly, this large black shape loomed in the doorway. A black man, the size of a redwood tree just seemed to materialize in the doorway. He looked at the group, crossed his hands and growled, "Ya wanna see the show. Ya gotta pay." The Packer fans froze. JoAnn and I took that opportunity to slip around them and to walk away as fast as we could. I will never ever forget the size of that man and the authority he radiated.

We walked a block away, stopped, turned around and looked back. We could barely make out the open door in the sea of humanity. We looked at each other and then burst into laughter. "Oh my god. These people are so green," JoAnn said. We walked another block and found a restaurant with a window on the street. I had a really good jambalya and JoAnn had a platter. I remember she didn't like the shrimp on it so she gave them all to me. Just a note, if cayenne pepper is used in your dish, don't itch your eye. The waiter got a kick out of me dousing my right eye with water to get the sting out.

We spent a couple more hours just walking, standing, watching and walking some more. Finally, the crush of people was too much for us and we headed back to the car and the motel. It was a great time.

Some day, I'd like to go back for a 3-day weekend. There are things, like the jazz museum and Preservation Hall, that I didn't see when we were there. It's one of those places that I don't have to spend a lot of time visiting but it's worth it to say, "Yes, I've been there."

Beverage:  water

Deb

When I Needed It

Things get lost. We all know that. Your best intentions result in never seeing said item again.

I've been thinking about that since Halloween because one of my best friends, Patt, sent me a $10 gift card from Starbucks. While I don't drink coffee, their Christmas hot cocoa offerings will get my feet inside the store. This will be most excellent.

So, I set the card aside, some place where it wouldn't get lost and I'd remember it. Why I didn't, right then and there, stick it in my wallet, I have no clue. I know I thanked her for it, at least, I think I did. Things got crazy and my mind lost track of where I'd put the gift card. Isn't that the way it goes? When I do a house recycling sweep, I have to set everything down and go through it a second time, lest I accidentally scoop up a bill and recycle that. We won't discuss how many times that has happened. I had pretty much resigned myself to having recycled the card or maybe, accidentally sent it back to her and she was too polite to tell me what a doofus I was.

I was cleaning Thursday night. I don't know why. I wasn't looking for anything, but I did want to get rid of a pile that sits on top of my dead printer. I found, at the bottom of the pile, two Halloween cards. Not sure why I didn't recycle them, I opened the top one. Here was Patt's gift card. In spite of myself, I hadn't tossed it.

It's been a rough week just passed. There has been a major personal stress event developing. I can't really discuss it right now because it's not sorted. And, we had a major event at work. It was the kind of major event that causes you to wonder if you really ever did know someone as well as you thought you did. I've found myself in something of a funk, not really wanting to do much of anything except sit in the recliner with a cat in my lap and crochet. There's probably nothing particularly wrong with doing that other than I was out of pants for work and I swear the dishes were multiplying in the sink as I stood there and watched. One person can't have made all these dirty dishes.

Finding the gift card caused me to stop at Starbucks on the way home from getting yarn for my next crochet projects.

It's a large hot chocolate and a "morning bun". They call it a "morning bun" because "cinnamon sugar roll" isn't very healthy sounding. It's a yeast roll dipped in butter and rolled in cinnamon sugar. It was very good.

I needed this. I wouldn't have appreciated the gift of the card had I actually put it in my wallet as I should have done back in October. I needed to be able to treat myself when I was feeling oppressed. The card showed up at just the right time.

So many things show up right when you need them. You might not realize it at the time. Thanks Patt, again. I needed a tall hot cocoa and a cinnamon bun. You can bet, if I get another gift card, it goes right into the wallet.

Beverage:  Lady Gray tea

Deb

...and there was much rejoicing.

Finally used up my birthday present from April and Perry. They gave me a gift card to Steak 'n Shake. I was so happy. During the Christmas season, they have this incredible white chocolate milkshake. There was enough on the card to either go twice by myself or grab a friend and share the experience.

When Jessie and I decided to get together for some long overdue girl talk, naturally the conversation turned to chatting over food. "I have my birthday present from April and Perry," I said. "Steak 'n Shake! I have been dying to go to Steak 'n Shake all month!" Jessie exclaimed.

The one wrinkle in this was, did they still have the white chocolate shake? It was after Christmas and this was a 'limited time offer'. You know those. It would be offered on December 32nd between the hours of 25:15 and 26:87.

We went to a Steak 'n Shake sort of close to Jessie's. We walked in, had a booth cleaned for us, sat down and the waitress put down the placemat and silverware. I got the placemat with the special shakes on it. Excitedly I asked, "Do you still have these?" "Oh yes," said the waitress.

Jessie got chili with cheese, a steakburger, cheesy fries and a Coke. I got a small salad (in keeping with the 'add more fresh fruit and veggies to my diet' resolution) with ranch dressing on the side, chicken fingers, fries and, viola, a white chocolate shake.

I am not fond of peppermint so there is no peppermint chocolate shake for me. Although the whipped creme topping was lacking in height versus the illustration, it was incredibly delicious. I'm happy. I don't have to go to Steak 'n Shake until maybe February now.

The gift card was just enough to cover lunch and leave a nice tip for the waitress. Thank you, April and Perry. It was the perfect birthday present!

Beverage: water

Deb

Happy Dance

Pam called me yesterday and reminded me that one of the best comfort foods is macaroni and cheese and I had the temerity to FORGET that on my last post.

(gasp)

(faint)

Yup.

But...

I make macaroni and cheese with Velveeta and I love to add Spam and peas. I think I blogged about this before, how much I like Spam. I grew up with it as there were some very hard times for my family at the end of the 1960's and into the early 1970's. Spam was one thing we could afford. I've eaten it just about any way you can fix it. That would be a nice Christmas gift for me, a Spam cookbook. I'm pretty sure you can get one on the Spam web site.

But that's not why I'm doing a happy dance. Pam called and said it was time for a girls night out dinner and I replied that she's been reading my mind because the paper has had coupons in it for...

Steak 'n Shake.

Monday night...before we both suffer from withdrawals. The only problem is going to be which seasonal shake do I get, the chocolate fudge one or the caramel apple one.

If only all life choices could be like that.

Beverage: Assam tea

Deb

A Year Ago

Chicagoland had been rained on day and night for some 4 days. We received something like 17 inches over a 4 day period. It began on September 12th and didn't quit until the evening of September 15th. If it wasn't pouring, it was overcast and drizzle.

I had a guest at that time. I'd met a guy and he flew to Chicago for the week. The weather on the 12th prohibited his arrival at 2 p.m. It was 8:30 p.m. before he arrived.

I thought we had a marvelous week. We went out to eat a lot, in spite of us going grocery shopping Saturday, dodging a torrential rain. We went to Milwaukee to watch the Cubs play the Astros because the Houston area was going through a hurricane. We went shopping for souvenirs. We went into the city so he could say he'd been to Chicago. We went to Wrigley Field.

Over my objections, he bought tickets from a broker so he could see the Cubs play the Brewers at Wrigley Field. I never found out how much he spent.

He spent a lot on me. There were the meals we ate out. He bought some computer equipment so he could set up his lap top. He bought groceries and a couple of souvenirs. He paid for gas. I tried to pay for a few meals but he refused to allow it. I was giving him a wonderful week and the cost was minor compared to his vacation.

We parted at 5:00 a.m. at O'Hare on Friday, September 19th. His delay getting here had earned him a free ticket, as he had given up his seat for a woman to get home to her daughter. He swore Thursday night that free ticket was to come back to see me, in April probably because October to March was the busy time for his work.

I wanted to believe him. When I kissed him goodbye at the airport, he held me close and said, "It will be soon. I promise." It was all I could do to drive home through the tears. Betsy and Rascal liked him and were a bit confused that he wasn't in the house now.

The days passed. He stayed in touch for a week and then total silence. He had been the guardian of his sister's two boys. The oldest had gone to live with his father in Las Vegas that August and that weekend was a weekend of sloppy conversation over the computer and my just being at my keyboard while he vented. Still, he had the youngest who had made it clear he didn't want to go to Vegas.

Something happened that first week of October. I don't know what, but communication stopped. Emails and phone calls went unanswered. I sent an email toward the middle of October saying that I would box up the things he'd left behind and there were a few, and ship them back. Plus, I had calculated the cost of what he'd spent on me and would begin paying that off. I wasn't going to be seen as a gold-digger, or worse.

I got a reply and he begged me to hang on, that he would be better and I just needed to be patient for a couple weeks, or through the first of November. He would explain as much as he could then, but right now, it was too raw and he didn't want to be seen as a complainer.

The first of November came and went. Nothing. Again I sent an email saying he was to expect a box and again, there was a, "No please don't send me anything" email in return. His mother's birthday was, I think, November 12th. He mentioned he needed to shop "for someone special whose birthday is at the end of the month". "I need to make up for being such a slimeball," he said.

My birthday came and went. My daughter and my girlfriends remembered. Ten days later, he contacted me to say he was considering a promotion. I know it's petty, but I mentioned how Thanksgiving was lonely because I spent my birthday alone. He fell all over himself apologizing for missing it when he specifically had referenced it right after his mother's birthday. Then he said he had to go and would not tell me when we'd next talk.

That was it. I boxed up half of his stuff and shipped it back. A week later, I boxed up the rest and shipped it back. He contacted me Christmas Eve. He was drunk and his nephew was in Vegas visiting his father. He said he missed our conversations. He missed how understanding I was, how wise. But he wouldn't give me a date for when we'd next talk. There were always excuses.

I issued yet another ultimatum in January. On the 26th, he sent an email saying that he knew I would do whatever was best for me. That was it.

I fell. I fell hard. Girlfriends will vouch that I spent many, many nights crying myself to sleep. I never believed anyone could like me for me and he claimed he did. He was the only man I had ever considered moving from Wheaton for.

I have dreaded this week and the memories that would dance with it. Having the new cats has helped a lot because my energy is directed toward them. There has been more drama within my WOW guild and I haven't done a good job of dealing with that. Sometimes, my people skills leave a bit to be desired. I try but it doesn't always come out as nice as I would like. So, I have been able to keep the memories at bay.

But tonight, knowing that this marks the end of the week that he was here, the memories are like ripe apples waiting to be picked. I've been listening to Nat King Cole all evening. One of my favorite albums is called "Night Lights" and there is a song on that album called "Sometimes I Wonder". I have played it quite a bit tonight. These lyrics catch me:

Sometimes I wonder when I'm deep in memory.

If you ever give a little thought to me.

And while I'm under this old magic spell of you,

Sometimes I wonder if you ever wonder, too.

Beverage: Cold Assam

Deb