A Strong Recommendation

I only recommend things I like. This is one of those things.

I bought these sandals back in May. They were on sale and proceeds go towards animal welfare and rescue. After I fell and my feet and legs, especially the right foot and leg, swelled, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to wear them. I took them to Virginia. On the day we went up into the mountains, I tried them on and they fit. The elastic on the top stretched enough to get my still swollen foot into the sandal. They were light weight enough that walking didn't feel like I was dragging around a ball and chain. My tennis shoes, back in May, felt very heavy on my battered leg. I preferred going shoeless, but that's not an option in the office. Plus, if I took off my shoes, I sometimes couldn't get the right one back on as my foot would swell during the day.

Since that day, I've been wearing these to the office and on errands. The thick sole is great for my stability, as is the fact that they are almost more of a shoe than a sandal. They have great flexibility and are comfortable. Plus, I can get them on when my hands don't want to work.

So, if you are looking for a sandal that is almost like a shoe, these are fantastic and come heartily recommended.

Beverage:  Huckleberry tea

Deb

Does It Help?, Photo 25

Last Friday, all across the Chicagoland area, volunteers donned these white plastic aprons trimmed in red piping, and stood in intersections waving small bags of Jelly Bellies in an effort to raise money for the Misericordia Home. Misericordia is one of the largest organizations in the country devoted to caring for and providing opportunities to developmentally and physically handicapped people. They are affiliated with the Catholic Church but their facilities and outreach goes to all faiths, all colors, all economic levels.

I knew this fundraiser was upcoming. It had been in the news. Misericordia's street solicitations are the first of three I can remember; Lion's Club and Knights of Columbus. I wonder about the money intake from these. Because I knew about this, I went to the bank to get money so I'd have a dollar to stuff in their donation can. How many people actually carry money anymore? I almost never do. For an upcoming bit a travel, I'm trying to decide whether to carry money and, if so, how much? Ten years ago, that conversation with myself would have been unusual.

We are a nation of credit and debit cards. This past weekend was also a major comic book and etc convention in Chicago. In my World of Warcraft guild, people were discussing the upcoming Blizzcon event for World of Warcraft; Dragon Con, held in Atlanta over Labor Day; and the largest, ComiCon in San Diego in July. One member said, "Yeah I went to x and dropped over $5,000 on stuff." Aside from having the monetary resources, I wondered if he'd carried five thousand dollars around in his pants pocket or if most everyone at these kinds of places takes credit cards. At Misericordia's gift shop, they take credit, but it would be impossible to outfit the guys and gals walking the rows of cars with card readers, even the small ones I've seen on iphones.

So, I'm left to wonder. Are they seeing a drop off of donations from people waving bags of goodies while they walk between lanes of stopped cars? Do donations increase in general around this weekend because people who used to have change with them don't and then go to the web site to donate? Would there ever become a time when this kind of fundraiser's expenses, even with the candy and aprons donated and with volunteers doing the waving, aren't covered by income? Is this really about getting the name of the place in the mind of the public as opposed to making buckets of money?

Part of me thinks I could stuff a couple of dollar bills in the glove box of the Jeep for the Lions Club when they are walking the pavement. I wonder if these kinds of fundraisers are held across the US or are limited to certain regions. They had a lovely weekend to do this. I always feel really bad for them when they have to stand in pouring rain; well, they probably don't have to but I've seen a lot of dedicated volunteers do that.

Beverage:  Scottish Breakfast tea

Deb

Fabulous Finds

One of the blogs I read, Little White Whale, is a collection of commercial web sites the author finds interesting. Sometimes, she has her own content, but usually, it's just a collection of links to other sites selling stuff. I like her quirky style but I'm little more than a voyeur because things are priced just a bit out of my capabilities.

Back in late October, however, she posted a link to a glass cluster ring that was quite striking. I have no use for rings at the moment. They just aren't something I wear right now. But the design was intriguing so I went to the creator's web site and wound up finding some unique earrings I bought Carole for her birthday. I never would have found those on my own. I like sending her things like this, that are not something you can get at the earring spinner at JC Penney.

Last month, the author did it again by posting a link which includes a stationary find. I was intrigued by the birthday card she used as an illustration and went to the company's web site. Oh glorious correspondence! I spent 90 minutes poking around the whole thing. I had to get something. These are not the Hallmark mass produced cards that I'm increasingly finding difficult to get a card that matches what I want to say. I love the quirk. I love the design. I love the colors. I settled on the word search cards and they came this past week.

You can get 5 of them for $20. I can easily spend $3.95 on a large Hallmark card so $4 for quirk is well worth it. I can't tell you how awesome these are. They are embossed on heavy card stock, but will still mail for the price of a first class stamp. I took one look at all the letters and thought, "How am I going to find my message?" How about that? There's a key sent with the card.

These aren't simply birthday cards. These are anniversary, wedding, thanks, want to roll in the hay; any sentiment you want to express can be made on these cards. A lot of thought went into them. Gloria, the owner of Little White Whale says she looks for the bodacious and I have to say, these are bodacious. I just bought a bunch of thank you cards but I'm certainly looking at getting other cards from this company. I'll still frequent Hallmark. They have decent 99 cent cards, but for the truly unique, this has my vote.

Spring is supposedly coming and with that sandal weather. I have a couple pair of flip flops but, increasingly, I'm liking the whole shoe. I read where rheumatoid arthritis sufferers should wear full shoes, not mules (which I adore) or flip flops, but something with a back to it. I poo poo'd that but I'm coming around. I feel more secure in walking with a full shoe.

On Facebook, I follow posts from The Animal Rescue Site. It's a retailer whose products provide monetary donations to animals. You can, also, click daily and donate food. They will even send you email reminders to click daily. I find that bit too much as I get Facebook reminders. This site is part of a larger collection of causes sites, Greater Good, where you can donate daily or buy merchandise which has a portion of the profits donated to that specific cause.

Several weeks ago, they announced a sale of sandals. Whoop de honkin' do. These will just be flip flops or something similar and I have a couple pair like that. To my surprise, what was on sale was a pair of sturdy sandals with a back to them.

I had my choice of colors. There was a purple and gray colored sandal, but I went with black and white with purple accents because it will go with everything I wear. They don't much look like sandals which was one of the appeals of the shoe. But, looked at from the side, they certainly are.

These are enclosed enough that I can probably wear them to the office on days when I'm not going into the field. They are very sturdy, yet lightweight and the tread is what I expect from good quality shoes. I probably could wear these to the beach and into the water, if I so desired, not that I'm planning on going to the beach any time soon.

So these are my fabulous finds for spring, if spring ever gets here. The snow shovels are still in the kitchen because I'm superstitious like that, sandals or no sandals.

Beverage:  Scottish Breakfast Tea

Deb

Cuts Down on Costs

'Tis the season for the dun letters. We get them all year. "Please give us money" but they can get particularly abundant between October and December 15th. I keep thinking, "Lord, if you'd let me win the lottery, I could give this charity some cash." Somehow, that logic doesn't seem to have swayed the lottery god one bit. What do you mean I have to play to win? (sigh) There's always a catch.

Anyway, I got this in the mail recently. These are Christmas cards, return address labels and stickers, one for each card. I'm pretty inured to the pleadings of the enclosed letters. I just don't have cash to send to anyone. I make a donation to a couple of charities once a year, not at Christmas, and that's it, so your letters of misery and want don't move me. Well, I shouldn't say they don't move me, but when you have zero to give, that's what you're handing out.

I like getting these cards and address labels. I would hope it costs the charity in question a few pennies to have bulk cards printed. Labels, heck, I could, if I wanted to take the time, print my own address labels on a home printer. Merge a mailing list and you've just got the cost of someone's time to feed labels into the printer, box up the stuff and ship it. Hence, I don't feel guilt at all in taking the cards and labels and using them.

Every year, about this time, I go through the address book and count the number of cards I need. My count this year is 60. Now, I tend to buy cards that I like and I always seem to have cards left over. Two years ago, I was going to make my own cards. I still have that intention but I don't remember I was going to do that until right about now and that's no good for actually getting the cards made and mailed. So, once again, I'll need to buy a couple of boxes. Getting 5 cards from this charity, 6 from that one, 4 from another, help cut down on the total number of cards I actually need. I tend to gravitate towards cats or humor and love humorous cats Christmas cards, although they haven't been in abundance in recent years.

The stickers with this batch went into my sticker pile and the address labels went in with my address labels. I'm getting low on the labels I like so I'm probably going to have to send in an order at the end of the month, but the sheet I got with these cards will help stretch what I have.

I know a number of people chuck the whole packet in the garbage. Not me. I may not send you any money, but I certainly appreciate you sending me something I can use.

Beverage: Green tea

Deb

One Year Ago.

I realized Wednesday night, as I was balancing my checkbook, or trying to, (I shouldn't do that when I'm tired.) that it's been one year since the "Great Financial Meltdown of 2009". One year ago, 5th 3rd botched a deposit and my house of financial cards collapsed. I struggled last night to find a $3.63 error. Thursday morning, that error mushroomed into a $14.43 error. In going back, I found a subtraction error. I still can't find 3 cents and that kind of bothers me. It starts with 3 cents that you can't find and will, eventually, balloon into more substantial dollars because you've just ignored it.

I thought I might do an Excel spreadsheet that would, in large type, let me see all the subtraction I've done. Maybe that would help me find it. But I can't figure out how to automate the process and, if I'm going to wind up typing everything, heck, I'll use the in-computer calculator. It's probably a copying error on my part, but I can't find it right now, mainly, I think, because I know what the numbers should say and that's what I read instead of what's there. I'll come at this again over the weekend and see if I can find it.

What have I learned in a year of living without? First of all, my capacity to do without is huge. When you can't afford things, you learn very quickly what is and is not a necessity of modern life. There are things I should fix such as the kitchen overhead light which has ceased to work and I don't think it's bulb related. But, I can get a cheap floor lamp and plug it in next to the kitchen phone. Combined with the over-the-sink light, I'll be able to see. I think fixing the kitchen light is going to mean a rewiring of that fixture, which would involve going into the attic for access. This is not just "replace the bulb". This is replace the wiring and I just don't have money for that.

Secondly, everything gets analyzed from a "do I really NEED this" standpoint. In some cases, it's things I would like to have. Those are very few. Most of the time, I don't NEED what I think I need or I can get along, just fine, thank you very much, with something less expensive. It sometimes takes some digging to find that item but find it I do and it works.

Third, I am not very good with numbers and understanding finances. I still make costly mistakes, mistakes I probably shouldn't make, but that leads to item number four, I've learned more about finances than I ever really wanted to learn. It's been forced upon me. My head still swims after a couple of articles, but I do read up on financial information, almost daily and that knowledge has helped me. I should have one card paid off in a couple months. Although it has taken a full year to do it, that's money I can apply elsewhere now.

Fifth, the capacity for a financial institution to drag you through the mud or elevate you to almost star-status is dictated by the kind of people who are at the front line, customer service. I still go around and around with a couple of credit cards because I don't have the money to pay what they demand. I send them a little something every month and then endure the phone calls and the incessant demands and the comments. It always ends with me saying, "Well, we are at an impasse. I will keep on keeping on. I just wish someone at your company understood what people like me are up against." Then I wish them a good day and hang up. There's no further reason for me to talk to them. I know what I can pay and they either want that or they don't. Nothing much changes from month to month. If I have more, I'll send it their way. It is what it is.

Chase has been nothing short of golden for me. I love the simplicity of their on-line statement. I have, and I know some of you will faint, begun paying some bills electronically. I vowed I would never, ever do that because I need to write the check to make it more real. But, I have discovered that it's easy to set up and do. Maybe, once things are more stable, I'll be doing that all the time. Maybe not. But I can do it, have done it and it's easy for me to do. That makes a world of difference.

Sixth, the capacity for friends and people I don't know for kindness is beyond my wildest wishes. It's hard for me to just accept, without reciprocity, kindness. I guess that comes from my grandmother. My mother tells the story of a friend of my grandmother's dropping off food one time when my grandmother was battling almost pneumonia. She was under a doctor's orders to stay in bed. Instead, she got up and made this lady brownies because she couldn't accept the food dropped off without reciprocating.

It's hard for me to do this, too, just accept the gift and not feel that I owe someone something other than just my conversation and time. But there is no possible way I can take people to dinner regularly. I'm worried about Christmas, what will I have to spend, and my desire to give a gift to someone because I want to, not because they expect something. Yet limited resources means limited ability to give anything.

The anonymous Target cards are incredible gifts. I have stopped wondering who sent them; no, really, I have. The kindness and generosity shown to me helps me endure the nights when one credit card calls, gets my standard answer, and then calls 3 more times with increasing hostility, as if demanding in louder and broader tones is going to change my response. I think, for whomever sent those my way, knowing that I am so very, very, very grateful for this kindness is thanks enough.

As I look ahead to the next year, I have closed all 5th 3rd accounts and wouldn't recommend them to my worst enemy. I've been reading about increasing my contributions to my IRA and wondering if it would be in my best interest to take the money I will gain from paying off one card and stick it in my IRA or if that would be best added to the next card targeted to be paid off. The fact that I'm even thinking this has to be a date you circle on the calendar. My recovery is in baby steps, some days one forward and two backwards, but baby steps. It took me 7 years to recover from the divorce. It will probably take me that long to recover from this. I have no illusions now. I no longer have the "I can charge this because I can pay for it later" mentality. I charge gas and that's it and, even then, if I know I have the money in my checking account, I will use my debit card for gas. I'd rather have it paid for than have it revolve.

A new me? I suppose, but it's a new me that still walks gingerly. There are still too many mistakes and land mines for me to stride ahead comfortably. I'm trying. I'm learning. It's just a slow process.

Beverage: Irish Breakfast tea

Deb

I decided to be honest.

Thanks to that "No Call" list, the only calls I get now are from charitable institutions I have helped in the past. If you've noticed, within the last couple of years, the calls have become more aggressive. I know they feel if they keep you on the phone long enough, you'll agree to give them money just to get rid of them. I feel badly when I have to turn down charities I have helped in the past, but when you can't pay your utility bills on time, there isn't anything left over to give them. I have one charity I support, Best Friends Animal Society, and they haven't received what I usually send. I just don't have the cash.

Remembering that the person on the other end of the phone is working, I try to be courteous. "I'm sorry. I have no extra cash," doesn't seem to be effective anymore. "I am in the middle of supper," brought the response, "Well then, I'll be brief." What? I have marked that group. If I get extra funds and can spread the wealth, then Special Olympics, the American Cancer Society, the Make-A-Wish Foundation, the DuPage County Sheriff's Association, might get something. But I don't have extra.

I tried the comment, "If you can find someone to fix the [insert part] on my Jeep for free, I'll send you the money I would have spent to get it fixed." So far, no one has said they know someone and that doesn't stop them from trying my patience with "But we will take just $30 for disadvantaged veterans."

I know it's really, really tough right now for charities to make any ends meet. It is a thankless job to sit in a room and cold call people asking for money when I'll bet a full 90% of them turn you down. But the aggressiveness of some of the callers is getting to me. "Please don't call me again. If I have extra money, I'll contact you." isn't working either because of the loophole in the "No Call List". If you have consented to have a company call you, they still can, although they are supposed to remove your name if you ask. I've found that asking doesn't always translate into doing.

Last night, however, I found a tactic I think is going to work. I decided to be honest. All this week in my World of Warcraft guild, we've been attacking dragons. There are a lot of dragons in the fake world so planning a whole week where every day, we take on a new dragon was fun. In fact, there are so many dragons, we can't do them all in a week.

Last night was a double dose of dragon bosses. We did one event called "Obsidian Sanctum" with the final boss named Sartherion. It's not that difficult an encounter for us anymore, if you run in and kill all the dragons. But, there are ways to make the encounter harder. The main boss has three minor bosses that give different abilities if left alive while you kill the main boss. We decided to try leaving 2 of the mini-dragons up while fighting Sarth.

Unfortunately, we didn't have enough people come onto the game last night to do that. There is however, what's called an "Achievement" for killing Sarth with only 8 people. The usual compliment is 10. We had 8, so let's do it.

We are involved in killing some of the other dragons that inhabit Sarth's chamber and the phone rings. I almost ignored it but decided it could be important. It was a charity call. I said I was busy and the guy says, "Well, I'll be brief." I think that's what did it.

On my computer, I have voice software to communicate in real time with members of my guild when we do events like this. They were talking in the background as I'm on the phone. I know this guy could hear them. Shouldn't it sound as if I have company? Why would you want to keep someone on the phone if they have company? I said, "Look I'm in the middle of killing trash mobs. I can't talk." There was silence and I hung up.

We are about to engage Sarth. I have a couple people who have never done this and some people who need refreshers on how the fight goes. Phone rings. Another charity. "Mrs. Mon-tag-guee?" Dead giveaway that you aren't someone who knows me. "I can't talk. We're about to engage Sarth and I have to explain the fight to the other hunter. Goodbye."

I know they have to keep tabs on what the outcome of the call was. I just wonder what was put by my name. "She was fighting with a hunter?" I am going to continue to use this tactic when they call in the middle of my gaming. Oh man. There are some fights that will sound exceptionally weird. My luck, I'm going to get someone who is also a WOW gamer. "I can't talk now. We've got Icehowl down to 30% and half my raid is gone." "Oh wow. Did he smash them against the wall?" It still doesn't mean I'll have any money to give them, but the conversation would be interesting.

Beverage: Irish Breakfast tea

Deb

Resolution Assessment

I haven't, in some time, publicly reviewed my progress through the year on my New Year's resolutions. This kind of nags at me, a little voice reminding me that publicly telling people where you are on the road to whatever it is you're doing helps keep you moving in that general direction. Oh you can stop and read the "Historical Marker" information and get off the road way to hike this inviting trail, but you've told yourself you're going on a journey with a decided end and you'll never get there if you don't keep moving.

So, it's time for a little assessment.

Read a book a month.

Nope, but I'm really close to finishing book #2 this year and book #3 is waiting.

Read a magazine a week.

Not in April. I'm working on it in May, having finished 3 and am working through 4, so far. May is an odd month with the first starting on a Saturday and the 31st ending on a Monday. That means there are 5 weeks in May, 5 magazines which must be read.

This is the stack I am endeavoring to plow through. There are some long past prime magazines in there, I think Discover from 2008. I quit getting Discover, which is an incredible magazine, because I got behind. I've also, very reluctantly, decided not to renew my Mac/Life magazine. I don't own an iPhone and, increasingly, I feel the magazine is heading towards covering peripherals such as the iPhone and not the home computer. I get Cooking Light which is a wonderful read and which keeps me focused on improving my diet. I get 3 Scottish magazines. Don't look at me like that. It's going to take me a long, long time to get there so these magazines are the closest thing I have to feeling the soil beneath my feet. I also get a magazine, which you can see on the top of the stack, from Best Friends Animal Society, a no-kill animal shelter in Utah which I financially support. Even in this very rocky time of my life, I was able to scrabble together a $15 contribution. I believe how we treat animals is indicative of how we treat each other. A friend sends me Angels on Earth magazine which gets read when it shows up. I used to get the venerable Reader's Digest magazine, a Christmas present from another friend. At first, I felt rather silly. I associated RD with heavily conservative and "old" people. But, they added a financial columnist in February of my subscription and darned if I haven't learned a few things about managing my money. Give me a minute here to wipe the egg off my face.

Don't bother pointing out that the number of magazines I take in exceeds my goal of reading one a week. I'm aware of that. It's just that I will probably read more than one a week. Set realistic goals and then exceed them. Eventually, that stack will go down.

Write a friend a real letter once a week.

Fail. I did write a few letters last month, but my correspondent capabilities are sadly lacking. As you notice, I've very good about blogging and I keep a daily post to my Facebook site. Still, the written word means something to me and what better way to celebrate that than with a letter.

Add one more fruit or vegetable to my daily diet.

Moderate success here. I'm proud of this. I have shifted my thinking to incorporate fruits and vegetables. I desperately needed dish detergent so I went to the store yesterday, even though funds are quite limited at the moment. Bananas and frozen blueberries went into the basket. Yes, they are going into muffins but some of the bananas will be eaten as is and sliced into cereal. I was very distressed that my Cheerios were $4.48 for a 13 oz box when I could get the same amount of Life cereal for $2.00. I love Cheerios but I can't spend that much.

Anyway, I've become enamored with a friend's Facebook post about a meatless day once a week. It's no secret that animal emissions and effluvium are problems for the environment. Plus, there is the whole issue of the overuse of antibiotics in the production of meat. My eating lower on the food chain will help. Plus, it's good for me.

The only problem is that fresh fruits and vegetables are not cheap. I must shop when I have money which is at the beginning of the month. Fresh doesn't keep for 2 weeks, even in the crisper. I can't stand frozen spinach but love the fresh kind. If I have apples in the drawer, it's not uncommon for me to eat 2 or 3 apples a day. But that means they don't last long. Hence, toward the end of the month, the fresh fruit and vegetables have given way to frozen peas and corn and carrots. Some day, I hope I can go to the store once a week and buy the fresh fruits and vegetables I'll eat for that week.

Pay off one credit card.

So close. I think, in either June or July, I'll be able to do this.

Pay for everything with cash.

This is a success, although I have had to charge gas and, at the end of April, desperately needed household items, like toilet paper. (No cracks about using my stash of magazines.) It really helps not to have the cash to spend. I have to plan what I'm taking to work for lunches. Sales hold little meaning to me anymore. Other than wishing I had a wee bit of disposable income to buy more stickers for the non-existant letters I write (conscience pokes self), I'm discovering how little I want for things, when my basic needs of food, clothing and shelter are covered.

Not stay up past 11:30 on work nights.

Failure. I find too much to occupy myself and wind up thinking, "Oh I haven't checked this site lately." My eyes have been itchy of late which is a direct result of staying up late. I must be better at this.

Finish a craft project languishing in a drawer.

Technical failure. I haven't considered what to work on. I would like to have the weather warm up so I can go sit on the deck or the front steps or have the windows open consistently. I may not achieve this resolution this year and I'm okay with that. I had huge success cleaning my house before Carole and David arrived. I'm very, very proud of what I accomplished in those weeks leading up to their arrival.

Don't get down on myself.

Success, sort of. I see this as the changing of my attitude. Life is what it is. Some days are bright and sunny. Other days are gloomy with water in the basement. Every day, I am blessed somehow. It can be hard to remember and I have neglected writing in my blessing journal daily, which I need to get back to doing because it helps keep me focused on the positive instead of the negative.

I have a friend whose outlook on life is, I believe, way too gloomy. I know you cannot make someone change unless they are willing to do so. There have been times I have wanted to throw up my hands and walk away from him. It exasperates me so much when you're trying to show them a different way of thinking and they have a negative statement for everything you say. I haven't walked away because, to me, the interaction seems a necessary part of my changing my point of view. I am reminded that I too can fall into this trap of negativity. It is a conscious choice on my part not to go to that place. In so doing, life, while being the pits sometimes, is still a wonder and I can be most happy in the place I am.

So, that's the assessment for this month. I am progressing in my goals, albeit slowly. As Kang says in The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VII, "We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."

Beverage: English Breakfast Tea

Deb