Clean Up in Aisle 1

The thing about my traveling is the effect it has on the girls. It's stressful for them, no matter what I do to make it calm. For a big trip, like the wedding, I haul the suitcase up a week in advance and leave it out, tossing in things a bit every day. I read that this provides visual cues that change is coming, that I'm going to be going some place and won't be home. For overnight or a couple of days away stay, I pack the night before. It's probably as much stress when it's an overnight as it is when it's a week as cats really don't have a concept of time. "I'll be back on Sunday," means I'm gone as long as "I'll be back next Tuesday". Add to this the need to have someone look in on them. Although they love Pam, now that they know her, she couldn't stop in on the last trip and I had to hire a service. Rob is great and I have no worries, but the girls don't know him yet and are scared. He never sees them when he stops by to fill dishes.

So there were back-to-back trips last month. And there were day trips for work which necessitated my leaving the house by 6:45 and not returning before 6:45 p.m. Even if I was home, I wasn't "home". I was tired and not able to relate to them as I usually did.

I came home from my mother's birthday celebration and unpacked the car. I started to look through the mail on the table in the living room and Mija went to jump up onto that table to command my attention. Also on the table is my sewing box. She hit the box and both her and the box tumbled to the floor.

She was terrified and took off. It was a good 2 hours before she came out from under the cedar chest in the office to see if I was furious with her. I was worried it had fallen on her but she was okay.

It's a mess. And you know what, it's still on the floor. I look at it and think, "When I clean this up, I need to really clean it. I probably have stuff that I don't need anymore (like 3 pair of sewing scissors)." Plus, I don't know if the box top just popped off or if it broke at the hinges. If it broke, then the box is no good. I'm pretty sure my parents gave me this some 45 years ago, back when I was sewing up a storm at home. I did scrape the stuff that rolled under the recliner over to the pile.

I don't have the desire to clean it up. This weekend, I tackled the papers in my home office. How could I underpay the Internet bill by 4 cents? Seriously. I did wash. I stripped the bed. All the dishes are done. I read another chapter in, of all things, the book I'm reading about tidying. When I go out the front door, I have to step over the mess, but clean it up? I just don't feel like it.

I'm chalking it up the the general tiredness I'm working through. Pieces of life are getting sorted out and I just haven't, mentally, reached this point in the journey. The girls aren't chasing spools of thread under the recliner so there's not a reason to clear the pile. Check back next weekend. Maybe I'll have done it then.

Beverage:  English Breakfast tea

Deb

What to do?

I'm not sure how to feel. I received an email from someone in the WOW guild I run saying they were going to take a sabbatical from the game. The last time they did it, they dropped out of the guild we were in together and disappeared for 6 months. Six months is a long time in an evolving game like this.

I'm confused and confubbled because I have relied on this person for advice. They have been a rock when I've needed some counsel. They don't play much but when they do, they are able to size up a situation and provide an insightful comment. I've come to rely on those comments, rely on the intuition, rely on them simply being "there" if I needed them.

But it's a game and, as we all know, it has a way of seeping into your pores and possessing you. I have also cut back on my play time, although people wouldn't necessarily notice it. I have other things I want to do and it's become easier to step back and do those than to play the game. My daughter is taking a sabbatical as is her boyfriend while he goes back to school to finish his degree. Daniel just came back from 6 weeks off and I have Rob and Dan and Dea and Josh on self-imposed hiatus. Stepping away gives your head time to clear, reminds you of what's important and makes the game time fresh.

Yet, I don't know what I'll do without this wisdom readily available. Will we communicate about life via email? We exchanged some irritating words roughly 10 days ago and I can't help but think that's somehow to "blame" for the pulling away. We are speaking to each other as friends do but the underlying issue is still there. I can't help wondering, worrying, that my taking a stand on something caused this person, whom I consider a friend, to decide it's not worth it anymore. I guess one would say they weren't much of a friend if they walk away and never talk to me again.

I'm shocked and more than a little devastated by this revelation. I don't know how to address the email, either and a response is needed.

Beverage: Dr. Pepper

Deb