Happy Birthday

My family has always celebrated birthdays. Some of my best memories are of birthday parties. I even linger over the memory of watching my brother Steve's birthday party from my bedroom window because I had measles. It was awful then, but now, I just giggle.

Yes, I got the measles, those red spots that just exploded over my body. They were the "three-day measles", highly contagious, but here and gone in a week. I don't remember much about them other than it was a beautiful early May and I was confined to my second floor bedroom. When I needed to use the bathroom, I had to announce it so everyone got out of the way. Mom brought my meals to me. It was kind of like a hotel except my brother had a birthday party and I sat in my window and watched them having fun when I hadn't been out of the house all week.

Dan's birthday is in October. When mom was teaching me to cook, she had me make his birthday cake one year.

I got to decorate it with M&M's. This was long, way long, before seasonal packages were even considered so I spent an hour sorting the colors and applying them to the orange-flavored frosting. I do remember the frosting was orange-flavored, but I don't remember if it was hand made or something we got from a container. Pre-made frosting in a plastic container was a new idea at this time. I remember when "pre-made frosting" meant you added milk to an instant powder and whipped it. Who else remembers Dream Whip? I see a few hands. You know, I'd buy that if I could find it now. It had so many applications and had a tighter consistency that Cool Whip can replicate.

As we have grown older and spread out to live our lives, our birthdays have become just another day. Some of the family came to my house when I hit the half-century mark. We all gathered when mom hit 70. We'll do it again when she hits 80. Sometimes, I remember to get a card in the mail so it arrives on or before the date. Sometimes, I miss the date but still get the card out. Sometimes, the card doesn't get mailed or even purchased. I look at the calendar and think, "Oh yeah, there was that birthday I forgot." We get busy and it's just one more thing to remember.

And your birth order can have a lot to do with it. As first born, I go through life plowing the way for my siblings. First to turn 18. First to turn 30. First to turn 50. Those milestones can be forgotten when you get to #3 or #4 child. It also matters whether you mention your upcoming birthday. If it's little more than a date on the calendar, we're not so liable to remember. With grandkids running about now, it's easy to feel that birthdays are for the little ones and not for us.

So, when this Iowa trip presented itself, I looked at the calendar and realized the brother who is 18 months younger than me would have a birthday while I was there. Steve tends to be forgotten in the rush of life so why not have a small, simple party to celebrate? Three of the four of us siblings would be there. Sharyn is off to Idaho for a Forest Service job this year, but Dan and I could "celebrate", meaning we'd have cake and ice cream.

Mom set things up and we debated on making a cake. We could do the usual 9x13 pan with purchased frosting and then get candles but I wanted something a bit fancier. We opted to go to the bakery at the local Hy-Vee and buy a premade cake. They would have a baker on site who would be happy to add "Happy Birthday, Steve" to the top of a sheet cake. We'd head over to Christina's, have a little party with paper plates and plastic silverware and everyone would be happy.

We had picked out a rainbow frosted cake when mom spotted this.

How can you not be happy looking at this? It's made of cupcakes. There were chocolate and vanilla cupcakes, half and half; variegated buttercream frosting, sprinkles and a big "happy birthday"! It's perfect. There's no "I don't want that big of a piece" and Christina could easily parcel out the remaining cupcakes to her brood, instead of having to deal with cake pieces.

Cup cake cakes are all the rage now. I've heard of them being used as wedding cakes. I love the vibrant colors in the frosting. We had picked out a sheet cake with the same brilliant hues before mom saw this. It was a big hit and there were just enough cupcakes that people who wanted a second one could have one with only a few left over. Of course, the oldest grandkids wanted the purple and blue frosting.

It was just a small gathering and didn't last beyond 90 minutes, but it was enough to remind everyone that celebrating a birthday can be as simple as cupcakes and ice cream. I'd go for that.

Beverage:  Earl Gray tea

Deb

How Did You Celebrate?

Wednesday was "Pi Day". I understand Baker's Square, which isn't around me, was giving away free slices of pie. I resorted to buying an apple pie.

Why Wednesday? Well, pi is 3.14 etc, and Wednesday was March 14th. You do the math and I'll expect you to celebrate next year. 

Beverage:  milk

Deb

"I didn't come all this way not to have some family bonding, dammit."

Saturday night, my brother, Daniel, called the house to get information on the where and whens of this event. He made some remark about not showing up for the event and my sister, Sharyn, made the above comment. That became the running joke.

We're not the closest of families. Each one of us lives our lives pretty much out of the orbit of the other siblings. There's nothing necessarily good, bad or indifferent about that, it's just the way we've evolved. The boys live closest to mom while Sharyn and I live farther away. Life took us to Michigan and Illinois, respectively. We've had our periods of silence when someone's life seemed to be heading in a not very positive direction. We don't really keep in touch, but I like to think, as we've grown older, the value in staying somewhat connected has dawned on us. We'll never be calling each other monthly, let alone daily as some siblings do, but we won't snap at each other quite so much as we have in the past.

So, it is a pretty big deal when we can all get together.

We know that it made both mom and Dale extremely happy to have all of us there. For my part, although mom said I could be excused due to the need to go up and down stairs around her house, there was never a doubt that I wouldn't be there.

Dan drove out to the farm early so we could all go together to the church hall, mainly because we weren't exactly sure where it was in town. I knew it was off the main drag and all we had to do was look for a lot of cars. The first thing he did when he walked into the house was grab me, hug me and say, "I'm here for my bonding!" Thanks to Sharyn and her "family bonding" comment, we would, occasionally, stop and say, "family bonding moment" and hug some unprepared sibling, niece or nephew. It's the kind of thing that can be perpetuated for a long, long time, every time we get together. "Ooooh! Family bonding moment!" Grab. Hug.

As Dan was preparing to head home, we had to capture the "bonding moment". And a new tradition is born.

Beverage:  Dr Pepper

Deb

Scenes From A Party

Dale actually turned 80 on the 4th but a celebration was held on the 6th. This involved a catered dinner for all the family and then an open house with cake and punch. I didn't count how many of us there were at the dinner but we filled the middle tables and spilled over to the side tables. That's a lot of relatives.

We had prime rib, pork loin, smashed potatoes, 7-layer salad, broccoli cauliflower salad, rolls and green beans. Of course, there was a lot left over. I have a chunk of pork loin in my fridge waiting for supper tonight. I'm thinking french fries and corn for one meal and pork and beans with jello (gotta make jello tonight) for another meal. It was really good. Whomever this "Tony" is that everyone knows does an exceptional job of catering.

There was cake.

Oh my was there cake. I think they had 4 sheet cakes. Mom and Dale have a full sheet cake in the freezer. We will work on it at Thanksgiving and again at Christmas.

We cleaned up after our dinner and prepared for the public. My family sat in a group on one side of the room.

We don't know any people here other than Dale's family and we really don't "know" them to socialize. We played Apples to Apples until it got too loud in the hall to hear.

I'm going to hazard a guess and say the open house part of the event was the best part, for Dale. Yes, having all the kids and grandkids and great-grandkids together was special for him, but the hall was packed with people about 3:30 p.m.

For Walker, Iowa, it wasn't just a chance to drop in and wish Dale a happy birthday, it was a chance to see people. It was not a fundraiser. No one would come around with a can for change. It was a chance to have cake and coffee and talk to that person you may not have talked to in a few years. As Dale sat at the kitchen table later that evening opening his birthday cards, he kept remarking on who had shown up. "It was so good to see x. He's not been well and I haven't seen him in a couple of years."

I think that's what's different about small town life. You know everyone. Whether that's good or bad is debatable, but you know them and they know you. These kinds of events bring people out. It's a chance to reconnect that meeting at the bank does not. There is the built in sociability, the built in camaraderie of a shared celebration. People come to festivals or chili suppers, but it's not quite the same as this. And you certainly won't get this in the 'big city'. As much as we crave friendships, it's a lot of work to do it in person. At an event like this, it's easy to be sociable, even if you're not the most personable because you are sharing the celebration. "How do you know Dale?"

I didn't get up a whole lot. It was tough. But it was a great event to sit and people watch. Even in a small town, where everyone knows everyone, people live singular lives. It can be hard to get out of your comfort zone and reach out to others. An event like this forces people to do just that. The results were exciting.

In the end, it was a celebration of one person. Dale said later he was incredibly humbled by how many people took time out of their day and their football games, to come say hello, have cake and spend a few minutes talking to all these other people.

The event ended at 4:30 and we cleaned up. Dale's kids made him wear the hat and we all blew the noisemakers. We also all agreed that had we blown the noisemakers when all those people were in the church hall, we'd all be saying, "Eh? What? I can't hear you?"

It was a great event. I'm very glad I made the trek.

Beverage:  Earl Grey tea

Deb

There...And Back Again

It's one of my favorite book titles; The Hobbit or There and Back Again. To me, those simple words define the whole of a journey. You go "there", wherever "there" happens to be, and you return. But in that simple event can be a big event, an unexpected event or something very simple. One never knows.

On Saturday past, I headed west.

Interstate 88 westward out of Chicagoland was the choice of travel. This past weekend was the celebration of my mother's husband's 80th birthday. 80 years. That's definitely a reason to pack oneself into a Jeep and drive 5 hours west.

Iowa was playing Michigan and I managed to find the game on the radio about 15 minutes after it started. I knew that I needed to stop somewhere to get out and walk around. I would need gas, too, but it was very important to stretch my legs. Half-time arrived when I got to Clinton, Iowa. It was the perfect time to stop and get lunch.

I stopped again in Marion to get gas and the football game was on the line. Michigan was deep in Iowa territory and we needed a strong goal line stand to win. I left the car door open and the radio cranked up so I could hear, much to the amusement of the guy pumping gas across from me. I was on the road when Iowa won so I couldn't really whoop it up. The win made the drive quite bearable.

Yesterday, I returned.

The day was perfect for driving. It had been really windy on Saturday. Yesterday was calm and clear. I left at noon and stopped to get gas in Maquoketa. I stopped again in Savanna to get food. At about an hour away from home, my right knee was telling me it was time to get to where I was supposed to go. 

I love driving. I like the travel. I like to view the land, to see what there is to see. Driving to Iowa is probably about the limit right now, however. Until this whole knee thing clears up, it's just too painful to drive for longer periods of time, even with stops to get out and walk around, hobble is more like it. 

So, I went there and came back again. It was a great weekend. 

Beverage:  Earl Grey tea

Deb

Long-lasting Relationships

There was a celebration today at my vet's clinic. Finally, after over a year of renovation, the new clinic space was ready for dedication and an open house. They have come a very, very long way from working in a mobile clinic because their original building was flooded to the tune of 4 feet of water, to turning a 2 year-vacant bank building into a state-of-the-art clinic. Today was the grand opening celebration and open house.

Now, I don't go to the vet much anymore. Instead of having to go every month or 6 weeks, I skipped a whole 18 months. Val had to remind me the girls need check ups. I like this whole healthy cat business where I don't have to worry about them picking anything up because they don't go outside. The worst things are Pilchard's mats and the occasional small cut on Mija's nose where Pilchard got mean. But Val insisted I come by and see the clinic so I did.

It's amazing. They kept the roof design which was one of skylights and turned the bank into a wonderfully inviting clinic. The walls are yellow and green, very complimentary. They have new equipment, digital x-rays and lab equipment, that means more things can be done in house. Instead of having to call you with x-rays, they have x-rays in 5 minutes. They have twice as much space. Every doctor has a spot for their reference books and the ability to log onto the Internet and do research while the patient is around.

There are some things that aren't completely finished. The basement is still a work in progress. They used to be able to take boarders; I boarded both Shakespeare and Betsy when I was going to be gone and they needed extra care. That's in the works. They are also considering turning what was one of the drive-through windows into a drive-through dispensary. You'd call in your pet's script and, if your pet didn't need to be seen, you could just drive through to pick up their meds. Only one other clinic in DuPage County offers that.

The building is full of natural light and that's one of the things that struck me most. Natural light is always more positive than artificial. It makes the space seem larger than it is and not claustrophobic at all.  

What really struck me was walking in the door and seeing familiar faces and having those faces say, "Oh my god! Look who's here!" I don't remember when I've been hugged so much, genuine hugs of people who know you and are glad you're visiting.

I have always liked these people. I've been coming to this clinic since Shakespeare was a kitten, that's going on 25-26 years. There is a lot to be said for having healthy pets, but I do miss knowing how everyone is and what's going on with them.

It's not often, anymore, that you establish long-term relationships with people who provide service. We are such a mobile society that we don't stay in one place long enough for the vet or the hair salon or the mechanic or the gal at the grocery get to know us. But there is a lot of value in knowing people, knowing businesses.

So, I raise a glass in toast to a new location and a new era for Animal Medical Clinic. Thanks, Val, for contacting me and "ordering" me to come.

Beverage:  Water

Deb

October 23, 2010

Carole married David Michael Buckwalter on Saturday, October 23, 2010. This post is late because David didn't have the photos right away.

As you can see, David is active Navy. He's coming off a year of medical leave and their future was, and still is, a bit up in the air. There's training involved and new orders and military rules about where loved ones can and can't be moved. After much deliberation, they decided to get married so Carole would be considered a dependent. Supposedly, this makes things a bit easier.

Admittedly, you'd like to be in attendance when your child does something like this, but I understand the whys. The Justice of the Peace came to the house and Jason, David's best friend, was the witness. No word on where Faux was during this; probably in the basement as he's not fond of people he doesn't know.

Having spent a few days with them, they love each other. He's a good guy and cares for and about my daughter in the way a mom wants. I probably would have spent the 10 minutes or so of the ceremony dabbing my eyes. With my allergies, tears lead to coughing, which is not a good thing at a wedding.

My friend, Pam's words are very apropos here. She said, "You spend 21 years raising them to be intelligent, independent people and damn it, they go off and do just that." Here's to my daughter and son-in-law.

Beverage: Huckleberry tea

Deb

It sounds weird to say this.

Congratulations to my wonderful daughter who is engaged to David Buckwalter.

I will have a son-in-law which makes me a mother-in-law. I don't know how to do that role.

Beverage: China Black tea

Deb

IOWA 30 MICHIGAN 28

That makes us 6-0 for the best start in over a decade!

Am I excited?

This is NOT Dr. Pepper I'm drinking.

Beverage: Asti Spumanti

Deb