"We are such stuff as dreams are made on and our little life is rounded with a sleep."

"To sleep, perchance to dream."

A good night's sleep to someone with RA can, sometimes, be an illusion. I have struggled, in the last 3 years, to find a good night's sleep. It didn't help that the mattress and box springs were old. Consumer Reports recommends you replace the mattress every 10 years. Well, um, yes. That's nice. There are so many kinds and brands out there that you can be overwhelmed trying to decide what to buy and the prices match that confusion.

I felt that a new mattress and box springs would help me handle my RA. Dr. Francis agreed, but warned that the usual 2-5 days of getting used to a new mattress will be longer for me. I just needed to remember that. So, I set up a mattress fund with the target of getting a new one Veteran's Day weekend. Why then? Because that's the weekend for mattress sales. There's probably some reason lost to the mists of time, but the best deals on mattresses is Veteran's Day.

The week before, I spent hours perusing every sale flyer I could find. I had no idea what brand I wanted. I had a budget and I wanted the box springs so the price had to include the set, sales tax and delivery. I eliminated anyone who would not set the thing up for me or haul the old set at least as far as the curb for free. It does me no good to have someone drop them off at the front door if I have to do the rest. I can't.

After a week of reading and rereading and searching through ads, I settled on Bedding Experts. First of all, everything that seemed to meet my needs was at or below my target price. Secondly, there is a store in Wheaton. Lastly, they haul away the old mattress and box springs. Although it would have cost me just one garbage sticker per piece, they recycle old mattresses and box springs so nothing goes to a landfill. That's worth it to me. Sunday, November 10th, I bought a new set and scheduled delivery for the 15th. I took the day off to make sure all the furniture was moved, the floors swept and the bedroom made ready.

The girls knew something was up.

When I change the sheets, I use lavender linen spray on the mattress and the sheets. Lavender promotes relaxation and a restful sleep. I rolled up the mattress pad I have had on this bed for at least 2 years and set it aside. I received it from a friend who was replacing it. Given it's age, I'm going to just toss it. The delivery people wouldn't take the pad.

That was the first sign that something was up. My moving out some of the things I have in the bedroom was another clue. No sheets on the old mattress was yet another clue. I swept the bedroom and living room floors. The final clue something was up was when I moved the love seat recliners away from the wall directly adjacent to the front door.

It's so funny when I move furniture. Cats gravitate immediately to the now open spot. "OOOH. Look at the floor!" But, it looks like any other part of the living room floor. When I do the monthly thorough sweeping, the one where I move their boxes and the rugs and the chairs and the other furniture to sweep around and under and behind, they have to check out the newly opened space.

At 1:15 p.m., the delivery men were here. I marveled at how one guy lifted the mattress onto a shoulder and carried it to my front door. The girls fled with the footfalls on the front steps and the unknown people in the house moving things around. It took about a half hour to bring in, move out and set everything up.

My new set. This is a Sealy Posturepedic.

The big question is how am I sleeping?

Dr. Francis was right. (She should be, but sometimes you think you know more than they do, but I digress.) I am slowly adjusting. This set is taller than the old set. That is wonderful. Instead of getting down into bed, I bend my knees and slide across.

Mornings are always, always, rough for RA sufferers. Doctors don't know why. We seem to have the most pain in the mornings. Because this is new, I'm feeling that pain. I needed to use a cane to stand up Saturday through Monday. Tuesday was just sore. This was in my lower back. Today, there was no pain in my lower back until I sat down for breakfast.

Friday night was rough. I don't think I got more than 2 hours straight at any given time. I tossed and turned. The tossing and turning has eased. Last night, once I fell asleep, I stayed asleep until morning. I still toss and turn to fall asleep as I have not adjusted to the bed yet, but it's better. I'm thinking by Thanksgiving, I will be used to this and will find a quality of sleep I have not enjoyed in years.

I spent a decent sum on this. However, this is for my health. Once I have adjusted, I will be very happy and I think it will improve my RA.

The girls have adjusted happily to the new bed. They didn't seem to have any problems falling asleep on it right away. Oh to be a cat and able to sleep pretty much anywhere.

Beverage:  Huckleberry tea

Deb

Gone

My boss of 11 years finally retired. Last Friday was his official last day. He announced, 4 years ago, that he would be gone by 2009. Well, a recession intervened and that caused him to have to delay his plans. I remember, in late 2008, hearing him yelling at his broker because his investments had dropped an average of 15-18%. My company 401(k) only lost 8% of value and my personal IRA lost 6% of value. I have very little so a 6% loss is a lot of money to me, but I looked at my numbers and tried to imagine how I'd feel if I'd lost 18%.

A year ago in June, he told us he would be gone "by the end of June 2011". As things happened, he had to delay retirement but the seeds had been sewn. We gradually stopped asking him for advice, asking for assistance, asking him a whole lot because he wasn't in the office. He'd call and ask if anything was going on. When I'd tell him, "Not yet", he'd decide to simply not come in. His friends would just laugh. "Yeah, he's retired in his mind already," they'd say. It was frustrating for us but we got through it. It also made the impression on me that if I get to the point where I will be retiring on a certain date, I'm not going to just not come in occasionally. I would hope I respect my work colleagues too much to do that to them. My last day might be a half day, but I'll be in the office working as I usually do, up to cleaning it out and leaving.

A friend of mine, whom I've known for some 20 years, is wrestling with his employment. "Deb, I hate my job, just hate it." He's really busy and is often able to get overtime, but he works with some ill-mannered, boorish and downright stupid people. The stories he writes me about the things they do make me glad the only really irritating thing I had to deal with was an 11-1:30 office time.

And it's not that he hates what he does. I actually loves the job part. The people make it a horrible experience. "Oh well, I suppose it's like this everywhere. What if I leave and the job I go to is worse than this?" How do I respond to that? I don't quite know what to say to a friend who keeps on keeping on simply because it's a paycheck and he worries he won't find anything better. At what point is even a great job not worth it because of your co-workers. I don't know that I can answer that question for him.

I looked at the vacant chair at the end of last week. The boss actually vacated his office and turned in his keys last Wednesday. I don't know that I'll be able to retire any time within what could be considered "soon" and my friend just laughs when I mention retirement. I hope my former boss is happy in the location he chose to retire to.

It seems to me the proverbial "American Dream" has changed. It's now not to own a home, it's to have a job and to be able to provide for oneself and family. There is no retirement as my boss is experiencing, for a lot of us. The best we'll be able to do is hold our own. A lot of things change when someone retires. I think perspective is a big one.

Beverage:  Water

Deb

Feeding the cat

It was time to empty the Lucky Cat Bank.

I mentioned last year how we got this bank from the Japanese pavilion at Epcot Center at Disney World. There was some lore with it. A white cat with the raised paw was to signify luck. You were to feed the cat but not count the amount of money you fed it. By this anonymous method, you watched the amount of your change grow.

I couldn't get change to stay in the bank anymore as the interior contents were up to the slot at the back of the head. Originally, the bottom hole was covered with green felt. But that had to be removed in order to retrieve the coins in the bank. And we discovered quarters don't come out easily, so a groove had to be carved in the bottom hole and quarters had to be turned on edge and pulled out. So, the only coins in the bank are pennies, nickels and dimes. When you don't spend them, however, eventually, they add up.

I emptied the coins from my wallet. That's the pile to the right containing a few quarters. Then, I peeled the tape off the bottom and started shaking out the contents.

It turned out to be a goodly amount of coinage.

All of this goes into a bank Carole and I made over 10 years ago, right about the time her dad left us. We were feeling very low and wondering how we were going to make any ends meet, let alone pay the mortgage and utilities and provide for the few things she needed in high school. We decided we needed some symbol, something to rally around as emblematic of how we weren't going to be beaten down.

It's a heavy cardboard heart-shaped container. We decorated it and I used a quote from Shakespeare's Tempest Keep. Prospero says it in Act 4, Scene 1.

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,

As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

I used this quote to remind us that as long as we had dreams, we were good. There are days when I don't believe my sentiments, but, for the most part, I have held to this. As long as I can dream, I am good.

I have emptied this container three times since we made it. All the times were in preparation for a vacation. I don't empty it until the lid won't sit on it square anymore.

It's about half-full now. Buried under the coins are a few dollar bills I added back in June. I try to resist the urge to fish them out. I can't remember when I emptied this last; I might be going on 2 years now. With a debit card in my wallet, I rarely carry cash about, although I have been doing that in an effort to keep track of where my cash goes. If all I have to spend is the $3.00 in my wallet, I'm going to think three or four times about buying that overpriced bottle of soda.

I have no clue how much was contributed to the dream keeper. That's as it should be. If I remember correctly, I've turned in $117, $98 and $86 in coin and bills.

Remember how saving your loose change was something everyone did? You walked into a home and pretty much everyone had a change jar. My friend Terry had a jar that she and her hubby filled with pennies. It was dubbed the "Pennies for Paris" jar. They turned it in and put the proceeds into a fund to go to Paris. I remember her saying it wasn't much every time they turned it in, but it certainly added up.

It may be an anachronism to save one's change. For me, however, it is a reminder of how far I've come when I can put a couple handfuls of coins into a dream.

Beverage: Scottish Blend tea

Deb